ShotGunRider
New Here
My boyfriend of a year and a half and I have officially been split up for a month now. He’s in the military and lost his mother and brother only a few years apart in his mid-teenage years. He’s currently stationed overseas for the next 5 months. He usually “runs” from the relationship every few months, so this isn’t something totally foreign to me. Typically the departures are around significant events/stress and returns after a few weeks. Recently he came stateside to surprise me for my birthday and broke up with me the day after. He was in town for another week and was very cold/emotionless, which I’ve come to expect. I got him to talk a few days before he left and we ended up spending the next 4 days/nights together before his departure, which we both really enjoyed. He lovingly kissed me goodbye and texted me when he got home. I’ve learned to give him space, but my question is at what point does it stop becoming too much pressure and less about him wanting to isolate?
He reached out to my mom, which is a first, and opened up a lot to her. He basically told her he wished he could stay in the present and quit catastrophizing things. My mom said she hoped we could figure it out; he replied he did too and things always have a way of working out. He reached out to me a week later with a funny picture and caption. I called him a few days later and he was eager to talk but couldn’t hear me on a crowded street so he asked if he could call me the next day. I agreed. He texted me right after and said “sweet dreams”. He texted me again a picture of him and a buddy from a concert the next morning, then he called me the evening of the following day. We didn’t talk about our relationship at all and kept it friendly. A few days went by and I sent him a text saying I was thinking about him and hope he’s doing well. He texted back immediately, but the conversation was short and he asked if I was doing okay. I replied with “always J”. I’m concerned about putting pressure on him. What’s the best way to open the gateway to communication or is it imperative to let him come around himself?
My biggest fear is that too much time will go by and he’ll really move on. I know there isn’t a cookie cutter way of dealing with loved ones with PTSD, so I’m really looking for advice from suffers in serious relationships who isolate or supporters of them.
He reached out to my mom, which is a first, and opened up a lot to her. He basically told her he wished he could stay in the present and quit catastrophizing things. My mom said she hoped we could figure it out; he replied he did too and things always have a way of working out. He reached out to me a week later with a funny picture and caption. I called him a few days later and he was eager to talk but couldn’t hear me on a crowded street so he asked if he could call me the next day. I agreed. He texted me right after and said “sweet dreams”. He texted me again a picture of him and a buddy from a concert the next morning, then he called me the evening of the following day. We didn’t talk about our relationship at all and kept it friendly. A few days went by and I sent him a text saying I was thinking about him and hope he’s doing well. He texted back immediately, but the conversation was short and he asked if I was doing okay. I replied with “always J”. I’m concerned about putting pressure on him. What’s the best way to open the gateway to communication or is it imperative to let him come around himself?
My biggest fear is that too much time will go by and he’ll really move on. I know there isn’t a cookie cutter way of dealing with loved ones with PTSD, so I’m really looking for advice from suffers in serious relationships who isolate or supporters of them.
