Isolation

[Missliberation]

I find I have a tendency to isolate myself from others. But sometimes I really do need some space. A lot of the time I just enjoy being on my own to tend to my needs after years of being in abusive relationships that drained me, where I had no boundaries. But I find it hard to explain to those who do not suffer from C/PTSD or haven't been in similar conditions. And people not understanding or listening, just judging makes me want to isolate myself more. Does anyone else relate to this? I know I'm probably not the only one who has experienced this but it would be nice to hear your experiences.

 

[Thizette]

YES. There is this moment when I say something very real about my experiences in a completely casual way and I can see everything shifting for the other person. I find it happens most frequently and does the most damage with people who have never experienced anything bad in their lives.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Hi @Missliberation

I'm not going to pretend to know exactly where you're coming from, but since you're here, please know that I'm hearing you loud and clear. I joined this site a few months ago and have no interest in leaving any time soon.

I've been in Therapy for PTSD for 4 years now and honestly felt like my brain was wired wrong. Any time I tried to reach out, people just thought I was playing the victim. My Therapist has been a huge support and 1 other woman. Coming to this site was such a weight off since finally I was reading about people who speak my lingo. Real people... not just imagined. Questions and struggles that I could relate to where no else in my personal environment could.

Welcome to the forum!

 

[rosey]

Firstly i do isolate myself frequently for a few reasons. 1. I actually enjoy being on my own 2. Ptsd is exhusting and often need time to recharge 3. Sometimes i need to ne alone so i van listen to myself as i can be influenced. So you are not alone on this one.

Secondly. Forget what other people think as long as you are alone by choice and are happy with that then it is none of their business. I explain to my friends that i need a lot of time alone that it is not that i dont enjoy their company but myself care requires time out. If they cant accept that then they are not the right friend for me.

I think that people get a bit jealous that you are comfortable enough in your own company. I have had plenty of comments about how odd it is to go to the cinema or for lunch on my own but i like it and am glad i can do things without needing company.

Di what gives you peace.

 

[Missliberation]

Firstly i do isolate myself frequently for a few reasons. 1. I actually enjoy being on my own 2. Ptsd is...

Exactly! I'm glad to hear you say about being influenced. I find I tend to absorb other peoples negative energy and thoughts easily and I find I need to be alone to hear my own thoughts. It's like returning to myself but trying to explain that to people wthat just don't get it is a exhausting. I have been known to shut out people for this reason. It's a relief to hear that you do that too.

I think there is a lot of jealousy there! I always get hit with that. Particularly, being a woman, I get hit with the whole spinster stick (I'm 25!!!). I get told that men get threatened by independent women - like it's even my place to deal with that! XD

I feel we live in a world now that were so depend on each other that it's become unhealthy and suffering. But people don't want to be labelled a 'loner'.

 

[Silver.]

I never could really explain why I needed to isolate. Anthony posted a great post that helps to explain ptsd here:
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.13737/
Once I found that, I shared it with my s/o so he could not only understand my ptsd a bit better, but he could understand why it is I need to decompress and have me time.
I completely understand about picking up negative energy from people, I try not to do that but sometimes it just can't be helped
(there is a book called the Celestine Prophecy that is centered around energy, energy drainers etc. It actually changed my life. if you read, you might want to check it out)
Welcome to the forums.

 

[Thizette]

Firstly i do isolate myself frequently for a few reasons. 1. I actually enjoy being on my own 2. Ptsd is...

Exactly. My partner's colleague asked him the other day why I didn't go mountain biking with him--he loves mountain biking and we usually do outdoors stuff together. There are a number of accurate reasons he gave, but his big answer was that mostly I like to be alone and hang out with my cat. :tup::tup::tup: Three thumbs up for the man!

Also, during stressful times or after arguments, I need to be alone to evaluate whether my thoughts and feelings are based in the current situation or a result of my PTSD affecting my judgement of the current situation.

 

[Friday]

I isolate for a lot of different reasons. Some healthy, some not so healthy.

As far as other people understanding... The vast majority of people I have collected over the years don't have PTSD, and wouldn't understand isolation under that context; but they also have absolutely zero problem with separation, space, and distance. Because that's something of a requirement of mine. First we become 'friends', but we're not really friends until I've ignored them for a few months, or even a few years, and pick right back up where we left off. At least once, if not many times over.

It's, by and large, a mutual thing. Meaning the same exact thing is something of a requirement of theirs. They're busy people. They may want to have social lives, they may have social lives sometimes, but they've also got families & demanding careers...and those come first. In a pinch? They're there. Same as me. But for the day in day out? The kind of daily/weekly/monthly things that "most" (I'm not sure that's accurate, but that's my perception of people) do? Pfft. Not a chance in hell. Neither of us are those kind of people. So it works.

 

[Missliberation]

Exactly. My partner's colleague asked him the other day why I didn't go mountain biking with him--he l...

I find that with after arguements and/or stressful days too. I jusdjusdt need to be left alone but I find people keep chasing me XD then I do end up getting defensive and snappy

 

[Missliberation]

I isolate for a lot of different reasons. Some healthy, some not so healthy.

As far as other people un...[/QUOTE

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I isolate for a lot of different reasons. Some healthy, some not so healthy.

As far as other people un...

Maybe i should only make friends with busy people then XD

 

[Thizette]

I find that with after arguements and/or stressful days too. I jusdjusdt need to be left alone b...

I need alone time every day, at least twenty minutes. Often I've associated this time with my shower routine and will take a long time getting thoroughly clean and air drying and applying lotion or brushing my hair. Other things I've done to achieve aloneness when not alone is to plug in headphones and play some ambient music or nature sounds, or just used earplugs to tune out the world. The great thing about those options is having stuff in your ears makes your breathing sound louder, which for me helps me focus on myself and my inner experiences.