General Issue With In-law

[Fembot]

Yes Friday... that triggers a remembrance of a comment to me saying "millions have had these things happen to them, he needs to move on from it" like comment in the recent past. While I am left to pick up the pieces and not tell him to shove it. Don't you think I would like him to be able to move on,... not just for him, but for me and our child?

 

[Fembot]

which, funnily enough, is of course their excuse to not having to learn how the world really works, outs...

Yes, otherwise good person in that he has done a lot financially for others, but its more of a power trip for him to do so IMHO.

Though, the benefit for those who have been helped cannot be ignored and is appreciated.

 

[Fembot]

Because that's the same kind of attitude that could easily lead to missing the signs of trauma to be...

Yes, similarly he does not want to hear anything "negative", so we don't talk much/try to keep it to talk centered around their grandchild's exploits (school, etc.). Sadly NOTHING is positive for us right now (losing house, cars are over 200K miles on them, spouse is still unemployed, fighting with insurance company every other month, paying out of pocket for medical to the tune of half my salary, etc.). But, he keeps telling us about these fabulous vacation deals we should capitalize on. I respectfully told him that, "Yes, that is a good deal if you travel a bit no doubt and very nice accommodations for the price, but for now we will have to pass being that we are down a salary". WTH don't you understand about insolvent and $25,000 in medical annually that you would keep bringing up these things that are out of the realm of possibility for us at this time?

 

[Fembot]

Now he is sending snide comments in response to emails between MIL and I, as apparently, she can't have her own email/or perhaps doesn't seek to have her own email. Not sure why the MIL doesn't have her own email, and I am sure she knew nothing about his response to me about something she and I were discussing. She has been sick, so I don't want to put this out there/rag about it to her (she has to sleep with the man), nor do I think it will help even if she was not sick (and what would it accomplish put to ratchet up his behavior to call attention to it with his wife). Don't want to make things unpleasant for her, as she truly is a super nice person.

Guess this pretty much sums it all up... he's a control freak and since he can't control me, then he's going to badger me to death with unsolicited advise and rude/demeaning comments to bring my ass in line. F' that! Trick, for me is how to be civil/ignore him in mixed company, and avoid giving him any back and forth satisfaction. Frankly, I'd love to call him out, but need to respect the relationship my child needs with his grandmother and avoid putting my spouse in a no win situation with his Dad (he's pretty much told me to just ignore him, but does not admit his Dad is out of line... more like just is ok with the knowledge that he's always been a know it all). Esp not prudent to put this in my spouse's lap given his progress with his PTSD symptoms (don't need to cause issues there).

Any suggestions?