General It's Been Almost A Month Since Moving On...

[HelloMo80]

And I feel lighter! :) I gathered all his stuff, did the right thing by either shredding the stuff he didn't need but had sensitive info on it (like year old bank statements) or sending the important stuff to his family.

I had to get the address from his sister because I am committed to not opening up that line of communication with him again. The rollercoaster cycle has ended. So...why am I writing here?

Well, I am relocating and his sister will be in town about a month after I move to the new place. She extended the offer to meet in person (it would be the first time I'd meet her). I'd love to. She's always been so nice and gracious and I've talked to her several times before. The catch is this...I know her brother in ways her family does not. They know something is wrong with him but they don't know what. In the past, his family has called me to get information on him when he was refusing contact with them. Now that he's gone again and he's behaving erratically (from time to time), she may want to discuss things about him with me when we meet.

I don't want to turn her away because I know she is trying to help her brother. But, I am seriously done with him and I don't want to get brought back into that situation.

My thoughts are that I can meet with her, answer any questions she may have and let her know that I have no issue with that...however, I would ask her to respect the fact that I cannot be involved in anything further with her brother and as such, I can't actively help in any way toward getting him help. I was there, in the trenches for two years being that enabler and I just broke free. I don't want to go back.

Any suggestions on what else I could say/do? I don't want to sully her brother's name, but he was not a good man to me, himself or anyone else while he was here...at all. And I've held a lot back about him and the awful things he did to me and himself. I don't want to unload that on her (I have a therapist for that) but I do want to honestly answer her questions.

Thanks in advance for the advice or comments.

 

[Toria]

Hi - I would simply tell her that he is sick. That he has PTSD and suggest that she research it herself. You could point her in the direction of here, and if she reads what you have written and recognises him then that is almost accidental - what I would not do is spill all the details to her directly. Like you say you have a T for that, but also she may not actually want to hear that much.

 

[HelloMo80]

I like the suggestion about pointing her to read more about it here and elsewhere (credible sources) on the internet. She knows he has it (I informed her late last year after some questions from her) but I don't think she knows what it means in general and for him. I'll be sure to give her some information and give her the PTSD pdf that Anthony made. It's really helpful.

Thanks!

 

[lovehopepeace]

Glad you made it out alive.