It's my last day before travel and I'm barely functioning...

[AngelKeeperJ]

Massive well done, you did it.

@SeekingAfrica
Bravo! Travel brings out the panic in me…you plowed and “limped” through and got HOME. It can be like trying to run through mud. I am relieved for you

 

[abovedown]

BUT I am finally, safely home in bed and away from my landlord.
I mean, this is the start of the journey only, not the end, ....

As you said you are safe and away from your landlord. You have got now a bit breathing space to think over your next move(s). And first time to take care of yourself abd rest a bit too!

 

[Tinyflame]

But for everyone who commented and helped me get through cleaning and panic attacks and flashbacks- the bus ride was exhausting but okay and I am safely HOME.

And it's good to have a home @SeekingAfrica . You could/ should probably sleep for a week! You did a spectacular job!

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I do still owe money to the landlord. So getting income is a priority still.
I can't take a week but I'm giving myself some breathing room, which is something. Haven't had that in weeks.

The first day I was okay. Today I already had to remind my mother that we have opposite schedule so she doesn't ask me constantly when will I work. Now my father who has never done so before, made a comment on my weight gain. And then a whole bunch of other comments on the state of my life. I think I need a separate thread on that. I can take it to heart and fall apart. Or I can find an approach towards it.
I vote for the second.

After a moment of weakness, that is.
P.s. I AM SO GREATFUL FOR ALL OF YOU WHO KNOW WHAT THIS COSTS ME.