Jealousy that’s hurting me, and I hate jealousy

[ppppts]

I thought I posted a thread about some serious jealousy issues, but I couldn’t find it. I was so scared writing about it, like it was a huge step for me to even talk about those things.

I’ve known someone who did these things
- He asked me for 3-4 weeks to go to see my parents who live far away, because it was important for us to have some alone time sometimes
- He admitted lying to me, meeting someone else than he first said he was going to meet while I was away
- They got drunk together in my appartment, he didn’t answer my texts or anything
- They had some kind of an argue, which he didn’t want to tell me what it was about, and she left from here in the middle of the night «, because of that argue or fight

What makes this difficult also, is that he seemed so obsessed with her. He’s lucky numbers and favorite numbers, was her birthday. He seemed so happy when he talks about her or with her. He laughed so much, I have never made him laugh that much, and I don’t think I’ve heard him laugh that much in general. He kept her sunglasses, when she forgot them, and I threw them away... But I have some similar sunglasses and now the thought bothers me, that he has taken them and hidden them somewhere believing it’s hers... And before all this, they were planning to go on vacation together, probably sleeping in the same bed and so on

I know these things can just be speculations, but is there anything I can do, and is it normal to feel upset by those things?

 

[ppppts]

How can I delete this??

 

[LuckiLee]

Is this your boyfriend you're talking about? Why do you want to delete it?

 

[ppppts]

Is this your boyfriend you're talking about? Why do you want to delete it?

It’s not important who it’s about... I want to delete it because I’m scared. And I feel confused because I don’t know if I’ve got any reason to be angry... Or actually I really don’t know how I feel. But it bothers me in some way, this case, and I’m to ashamed to talk with my therapist about it..

 

[EveHarrington]

Sweetie, you’re being treated like an option, not a priority.

Dump his @ss.

 

[ppppts]

Sweetie, you’re being treated like an option, not a priority.

Dump his @ss.

I’ve thought about it. But I have no concrete evidence. I feel as if he treats me very nice, but I also feel sometimes that I’m treated like an option and not a priority. We spend a lot of time together though, so I think, if I try to consider the way I feel, maybe I am lucky. But it’s very difficult to know what to believe. It could be completely subjective reasons, that has no root in reality. But it could also be a warning that something is wrong. It’s difficult to not be able to trust my gut feeling, because I know I’m a master of worrying. I try to think of our relationship like what it is, in all or in it’s whole or what it’s called. And mostly I feel we are doing very fine and I feel loved and safe. When I tell him that, he always smiles to me, and says that’s good to hear. I really hope he forgets her, because I could just be very jealous. I really don’t know :( I’ve asked him about some things that I wondered about, and he always answers the things I was hoping to hear. So I’ve just gotta believe that it’s the truth. And trust him... If he does something very hurtful, which he has said before he would never do, because he wouldn’t risk our relationship, but if I actually catch him doing something, I will get the hell away, far far away from that... I can’t imagine something more hurtful, for instance, being cheated on by someone I fully believed loved me and wanted me, because he always said so.

 

[EveHarrington]

He’s friends with this other woman?

I know I’d have a problem if my guy was getting drunk with another woman.

You do have a right to speak up and tell him what kinds of behavior you’re not comfortable with.