Just A Fools Hope?

[foolshope89]

@Nico

Well at some point he told me that he needed some time to pull himself together, and that he needed to behave selfish to accomplish that.
I texted him once a week instead of constantly texting him asking whats up.
But that was after i kinda forced him to tell me what he wanted.. And that if he didnt answer me , i would end this.
Because i had no idea what was going on, and why he acted all cold and ignoring me.

But it could have gone wrong aswell, luckily for me he answered right away.
But it was my last hope at that point so i had to.
I would not recommend doing that unless you have nothing else to lose.
It can go well, but it can also end up badly.
It is a huge risk.

The mind plays many tricks indeed.
Many times i ve thought.. He has someone else, he doesnt like me anymore, hes ignoring me on purpose.. and many other things.
But when i really thought it through, a little voice in my head says; what the hell are you thinking! ofcourse hes not, get your act together.
It sounds so weird i know, but it helped me so far.

 

[Nico]

@foolshope89 You got a man that appears to really love you. I know men period don't like to be pushed and we as women can't stand the silent treatment because we fear the worst (and with a healthy man, doing the disappearing act is cowardly instead of confronting the problem). It's a hard thing to go through, and like you said before, "am I holding onto false hope?" That is seriously how it feels, especially when your friends and family just don't get it. I know most women would probably react badly and I almost did after a week of not hearing from my guy. Instead, I sat down and gathered my thoughts from my heart and wrote him an email. I thought it was over, so I untagged pics of us on facebook (whilst crying my eyes out). HA...I guess that is tame compared to what some others may have done, but I don't know if it hurt him. But I'm hurt and am in the dark because he had yet to ever say, "I am having a PTSD episode." That's why I feel I can't say anything because I don't want to assume nor feel like I'm trying to diagnose him, even though it's clear as day with his behavior after reading all these forums. Sorry, don't mean to make this about me, but we seem to be able to relate. I'm really happy for you, like I said. Baby steps they say.

 

[foolshope89]

@Nico

Yeah, my friends did not understand the situation at all, at some point i avoided my friends who were constantly being negative about the situation. I really did not need that kind of advice, mostly because they had no idea what he's going through and i wasnt going to explain it either it was not their buisness.
My family has been supportive, my parents had a good connection with him, he told alot of stories about what happened to him, so they know some part of it.
My mother has been my biggest support. Whenever i need to talk about it i go to her and she doesnt mind at all. It makes me at ease again instead of stressing out and keeping all of my feelings inside.
My brother whos also in the army is close to him. They talk alot, though he wont tell me what it is about haha. He's all about privacy, which i respect by now.

I actually tried that aswell with my guy, trying to lure a reaction out of him. I texted him once telling him how miserable i was feeling cos of the say he was acting. But later i realised that he was to busy with figuring out himself, he cant handle my problems aswell. So i kept thosr things to myself and only texted supportive things to him. Most of the time i didnt get a reply, but other times he did, and he thanked me for it.
My guy doesnt admit having ptsd either, and im not going to tell him.
But he did tell me some of the stuff going on with him he just wont admit it ptsd towards me.
Maybe he is ashamed of it, i do not know, but im not gonna confront him about it either.

No need to apologize! Im interested in other people's stories and how they cope. It sure helped me alot. So feel free to tell whatever you want.