DID Just found out i have did, please help

[Phoenix_Rising]

I feel so lost and alone. I don't know where to go or what to do to cope with this. I need some support, and I don't see my therapist again for a week. It's going to be a hard week in a lot of ways. I told her I would be okay but I'm not really... What should I do??? I want to find a place for some support, no idea where to start. I feel so alone (ironic, yeah, I know.) Please help. Anything. I have nowhere else to go.

A Frightened Phoenix

 

[Friday]

I told her I would be okay but I'm not really... What should I do???

Tell her that? I thought I would be okay, but I’m not.

 

[whiteraven]

Can you talk more about feeling lost and alone? I know what it meant for me when I first discovered I had DID, but I'm wondering what that looks like for you.

I'm not sure it will help right now to hear this, but it does get easier and can be *very* manageable. And you have the folks here to listen. Also, you might try looking for DID or dissociative disorder groups online that have forums or message boards. They were invaluable to me when I was first diagnosed.

 

[Ronin]

What sort of support do you need most, right now?

And what supports do you already have?

 

[Finchlet2]

Form Little connections to the reality of the world outside your head. Doesn't have to be with other people if your not ready for that. Corny but follow your heart and gut when finding the right places to plant little roots in reality and you'll be surprised to find more and more seek you out and when you learn which to ignore and which to grab with both hands reality piece by piece will start to make sense. BEEN THERE. trust.

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

I'm pretty overwhelmed right now. I was informed by my SO that we only have 2 weeks to clean an entire house and I'm pretty physically disabled not to mention a psychological mess. My mother came over to "help" yesterday and she was being really awful. She's coming over again today to help with the kitchen and she refuses to do anymore (she came over of her own free will) but I am glad. I can't take anymore. I'm grateful in some ways for a distraction of any kind until therapy but I am also recovering from a really bad flu.

If it wasn't for my SO I couldn't do this. I asked for help inside so whoever wants to helps, which helps me cope better. An image of a safe and clean home for being able to work with my therapist so we can heal/feel better and so can he seems to help motivate and focus on the same goal...especially after seeing my mother in action yesterday. No one wants to go back to living with her. She was actually in a rage yesterday she told me being here which did not make me feel very good at all. I know it's extremely frustrating and discouraging because both SO and I are really ill and need therapy (including physical, in my case). Which we are finally both going to be getting and I won't have to take care of him so much anymore. But rage? Why? And judgment and resentment and bitterness.

Sad thing is I literally have no one else to rely on, besides my mom. I have no friends. Taking care of him the last 4 years has been both traumatic and hard. Exhausting beyond belief. And I have my T. Even if I weren't so isolated, and I can't trust anyone (IRL) I just had it broken too many times. It's not like I can go up to anyone and go, a la Carly Jepsen "hey, I just met you. This might be crazy." But I really need to talk... Anyone besides my therapist will think I have just lost it.

The only one I have told is my SO. Who was shockingly understanding but it still doesn't give me an outlet because I'm scared to talk, my system is very secretive about their existence. And he's rapid cycling bipolar and has borderline personality disorder and has been abusive to me. It is very long and complicated--he's not a bad person, but he really needs help, and he's finally getting it. I'm so confused I feel like I fell down the rabbit hole and all this cleaning leaves me exhausted, and I can't catch up. :confused::wacky:

 

[Muttly]

Learning you have DID is often super confusing and sets off a storm of emotions, thoughts and inside noise. Knowing you have DID and being able to work consciously with all your parts is super helpful for getting through life and is possible.

It sounds like you have a lot going on. Try to take things one small step at a time

 

[Sideways]

It’s a pretty overwhelming diagnosis to get, and for a while after I was first diagnosed I just felt plain crazy. I was convinced that I was completely mad.

Actually, you’re not crazy. As overwhelming as it is, nothing has actually changed - you just found out something more about yourself. You know yourself a bit better now. As overwhelming as it feels, you are still the same person that you were before the diagnosis, it’s just now you have more information.

There is no requirement that you act on this diagnosis as a matter of urgency. You can address it slowly, in your own time. If life is a bit hectic right now, and your stress levels are through the roof? Focus on that, and self-care.

When thoughts start racing around in your head, maybe write them down in a journal, and come back to them with your therapist when yoh have time and you’re ready. But remember that you haven’t changed, you haven’t suddenly become someone else, you just know more about yourself than you did before.

 

[Keen]

I'm sorry you're going through this! I'm just a couple months "ahead of you" in this, having been diagnosed the end of last year, and I just want to echo the advice of others on here, whose advice has helped me.
1. Remember, this doesn't change anything about you, it just helps you understand what has been going on for you better. But nothing is different.
2. Take little steps, nothing big needs to be done with this information. Take time to get used to it, things will calm down.
I promise you as one who knows, it does get better. You can ride this out, and things will become calmer and more manageable.