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Just Had Flashback In Kitchen. Shaking, Scared, And Crying.

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ReachingOutJ

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I was making sandwiches to put in the fridge, to have for breakfast, and when I looked at the table, I had a flashback of my bf's late sister; who died of a drug overdose. I saw her, and her son sitting at the table, and it was back to the Thanksgiving they spent with us.

That hurt so much. I'm weeping. I desperately need to get some money so I can move out of this house. It is a 24-7 trigger; between the painful memories I have here, and my angry/scary family.
 
I desperately need to get some money so I can move out of this house.
Interesting, me attempting to talk someone down from a house trigger. Let's see how this one goes.

Reaching, I have some pretty serious house triggers myself. So I get it. Kitchen is 'touchy' to say the least. What I am going to say is that for me (I stress that), triggers can follow one. I am wondering if you have a therapist and if you have PTSD?

Have you learned coping skills around this event, as horrible as it was?

And an interesting question for you. If you replaced the kitchen table with another kitchen table, would you still trigger?
 
@ReachingOutJ, I didn't say anything on this thread when you posted it, but am just looking at it now and wondering how you are doing. When you said it wasn't the table but the kitchen, I could relate. I strongly associate trauma with the place where it happens. Sometimes, it doesn't even take a major trauma, but just something I associate with the original trauma, and being in a place that reminds me of it makes my anxiety go through the roof. There are parts of my own house I have trouble being in alone for this reason, and this has been true for years. Makes me wonder what I'm renting such a big house for. I'm not sure moving is the solution though, because, well, wherever I go, there I'll be and unless I can live in a bubble and nothing bad ever happens again, the only solution is to work through the trauma. Heavy sigh...

Anyway, just wondering how it's going for you.
 
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