Loyal one and propitious, I know what you are feeling. I'm new at this also,less than 2 months. Although I've been married 17 years. My husband returned home July 1st from Afganistan suffering from PTSD. He was able to hide it for almost the first month, thinking it would go away now that he was home. It is very confusing. I feel as though I understand one moment and the next I am just plain confused.
I would like to reccommend a few books that I have read. "Courage after fire" I read this one cover to cover. It explains the feelings that the soldier is feeling and has suggestions for significant others at the end of each chapter. "After the war zone" is another good one. My husband felt "Once a warrior, always a warrior" was a good one for him. If you can only read one, I think that the first mentioned would be the best. I was able to borrow these from the library.
They are lucky to have girlfriends willing to help and take the time to educate themselves. Take care