Cloudymorning
New Here
I'm so relating to SLC's post from 10/20 right now... so much so that I was going to just reply to their thread and then started writing and writing.
My partner doesn't know when they're being aggressive. Like our friends say D is "very intense" and ask me, "are they manic?". D spent a couple hours this afternoon trying to convince me that all the yelling in our relationship is solely me anticipating their yelling, which they deny happens at all. If I suggest maybe calming down, they explode and rant at me. I walk away and they follow, badgering me even when I put on headphones to get away. If we're not in the same place and D's talking nonstop about their perspective (as in, how awful I am), I turn off my phone and they keep ranting by text and I'll have to read it hours later. If I don't respond in exactly the way D wants, D gets angry. They deny our financial reality in the face of documentation. They deny that I might have a perspective different than they do. They say that *I* need my meds changed and a new therapist while they skip psychiatrist appointments (leaving me with the missed appointment fee). They have abandoned therapy saying "I've learned how to process things so I don't have anger issues anymore" and "I don't have PTSD".
I know this is an abusive situation. I've done preliminary safety things like cutting of their access to my financial resources, they've moved out but are still a daily part of my life.
My excuse for not ending it fully? We have a business together that employs six people and is at the heart of a community (one includes vets, PTSD survivors, people battling cancer, people in poverty) that would break my heart to close, and I would lose a rather significant amount of money. I don't know how to run it myself, that's my partner's area of expertise.
Thoughts?
My partner doesn't know when they're being aggressive. Like our friends say D is "very intense" and ask me, "are they manic?". D spent a couple hours this afternoon trying to convince me that all the yelling in our relationship is solely me anticipating their yelling, which they deny happens at all. If I suggest maybe calming down, they explode and rant at me. I walk away and they follow, badgering me even when I put on headphones to get away. If we're not in the same place and D's talking nonstop about their perspective (as in, how awful I am), I turn off my phone and they keep ranting by text and I'll have to read it hours later. If I don't respond in exactly the way D wants, D gets angry. They deny our financial reality in the face of documentation. They deny that I might have a perspective different than they do. They say that *I* need my meds changed and a new therapist while they skip psychiatrist appointments (leaving me with the missed appointment fee). They have abandoned therapy saying "I've learned how to process things so I don't have anger issues anymore" and "I don't have PTSD".
I know this is an abusive situation. I've done preliminary safety things like cutting of their access to my financial resources, they've moved out but are still a daily part of my life.
My excuse for not ending it fully? We have a business together that employs six people and is at the heart of a community (one includes vets, PTSD survivors, people battling cancer, people in poverty) that would break my heart to close, and I would lose a rather significant amount of money. I don't know how to run it myself, that's my partner's area of expertise.
Thoughts?
