Yes, and it will be read.
I think you will definitely find your wicked sense of humour will return at some point. It's no doubt been a saving grace in the past, and a strength of sorts. I'm sure it's a matter of just plain not feeling at all like smiling at anything on the planet at the moment, and that simple.
It does so sound like you obviously intellectually know what the path may be with PTSD. I SO hate to sound like one of those pompous, smug 'well let me tell you' types because I'm honestly not. I also haven't had your traumas, but have been left with a life in complete and utter tatters with no apparent route to rebuilding. Yours is a different level, I know, and more awful in that you do have reminders everytime you move and breathe. I have a vague notion of what it's like, at least from the despair and frustration perspective.
Maybe it's not always a blessing to be as bright as you obviously are, and a professional because you know what you face and it's alot. I do know that since you are having great therapy, the flashbacks and nightmares will get better and no doubt provide you the energy to keep regrouping on the other levels of healing you need. But boy, it is a lot and nothing anyone can say changes that, I know. Being a medical professional though, you know that somehow healing just happens through time. That probably sounds way too pat and trite to deal with well at the moment so I apologise. 'Yay Ra you can do it' speeches are annoying and incredibly unhelpful, and do not mean to do that. I just wished to point out that healing is out there, even if it really, really does not feel like it at the moment.
Please keep posting if it's helpful, and don't feel you have to contain your pain, especially here. Noone knows you, for one thing, and for another, well, it's very helpful to just let it rip sometimes.
Keep going, and take care, ok?
Anni
I think you will definitely find your wicked sense of humour will return at some point. It's no doubt been a saving grace in the past, and a strength of sorts. I'm sure it's a matter of just plain not feeling at all like smiling at anything on the planet at the moment, and that simple.
It does so sound like you obviously intellectually know what the path may be with PTSD. I SO hate to sound like one of those pompous, smug 'well let me tell you' types because I'm honestly not. I also haven't had your traumas, but have been left with a life in complete and utter tatters with no apparent route to rebuilding. Yours is a different level, I know, and more awful in that you do have reminders everytime you move and breathe. I have a vague notion of what it's like, at least from the despair and frustration perspective.
Maybe it's not always a blessing to be as bright as you obviously are, and a professional because you know what you face and it's alot. I do know that since you are having great therapy, the flashbacks and nightmares will get better and no doubt provide you the energy to keep regrouping on the other levels of healing you need. But boy, it is a lot and nothing anyone can say changes that, I know. Being a medical professional though, you know that somehow healing just happens through time. That probably sounds way too pat and trite to deal with well at the moment so I apologise. 'Yay Ra you can do it' speeches are annoying and incredibly unhelpful, and do not mean to do that. I just wished to point out that healing is out there, even if it really, really does not feel like it at the moment.
Please keep posting if it's helpful, and don't feel you have to contain your pain, especially here. Noone knows you, for one thing, and for another, well, it's very helpful to just let it rip sometimes.
Keep going, and take care, ok?
Anni
