Supporter Just Sharing - Wife With PTSD Violently Attacks Family

[EveHarrington]

Would the person who added a sentence to the title I gave this topic please remove it. The title I wrote was "Just Sharing" That is all. My position is not click bait. I am seeking others who can relate to and discuss with me this particular manifestation i.e. out-of-character spontaneous violent aggression - especially against those that are loved the most.

I suggest the following link:

This is how severe PTSD can look. Anyone suggesting that acute PTSD cannot be associated with collapse into unconsciousness knows very little about it.

What time? It’s a 57+ minute film.

 

[Justmehere]

This is how severe PTSD can look. Anyone suggesting that acute PTSD cannot be associated with collapse into unconsciousness knows very little about it.

I do not doubt the severity of her PTSD at all. I highly doubt it's acute, but will likely be something she will struggle with for many years. She's been through hell and is no doubt suffering. As far as the youtube link, it's a 1946 film... a lot of our understanding of PTSD and domestic violence has advanced considerably since then. Her trauma history and diagnosis of PTSD is not reason to overlook or simply endure continued exposure to violence and threats/attempts of murder, but all the more reason to be very frank and honest with the professionals working with her and for you to seek help handling this situation. You are stuck in a pattern, a trauma-bonded cycle, that many domestic abuse survivors get into, as they focus on fixing the abuser. It’s a sign of being traumatized yourself. This is indeed very serious.

 

[desiderata310]

I would like to respectfully ask that everyone take a step back for a moment.

Let’s realize that there is such a thing as fight/flight/fawn/freeze modes when you witness and are IN situations like this.

Remember how much everyone likes to victim blame those in DV, and how hard it is to recognize when you are in that situation yourself no matter how horrendous the circumstances regardless of age, gender. It takes a hot minute to see things for what they are.

Let’s step back from the finger wagging and snide comment. It’s counter-productive.

I’m actually hoping this person will come back and continue to post.

It’s likely that he will find he’s more than a supporter and may be able to find assistance as someone who might just have PTSD themselves. what was described could cause the same disorder.

To @Nevergivup I’m sorry I’m not on my computer at the moment. There is something called the cycle of abuse. If you would, please google it and see if it fits your situation. You may find it does.

I’ve no doubt that you love your spouse! That you want what is best for her. In this case supporting her means taking care care of the health and welfare of those she loves FIRST. That mean health and welfare of you and children. Then you can start helping her by insisting she seek help for herself apart from all of you.

Meanwhile there should be counseling for both you and the children- separate from her.

This is a long haul situation. Think marathon, not sprint. Self care for you and babes above all else. She needs to seek help and sort herself out.

 

[Nevergivup]

Be assured that all the appropriate authorities are aware of our situation. They believe that the best solution at this moment in time is for me to be in control of the situation with regular monitoring and advice from professionals.

As always in life there is no perfect solution. One must weigh up the positive and negative impacts of various options. I hope I don't need to spell these out.

All I was after was a contact with someone who relates directly to my wife's condition. To date this has not been forthcoming. I do not believe that myself or the children are traumatised. Frightened sometimes, yes.

I really hate having to spell out my own credentials. It should not be necessary. I will just say that I am not a young man and that I know a little about life and situations that can lead to PTSD. I have spent 4 years as an aid worker in conflict zones in 5 different countries.

All I need is to understand more about the condition I describe. That is all.

If there is anyone out there who is in a similar situation as mine I can communicate privately. Maybe we can help each other. I have learnt a lot about how best to respond to these unprovoked spontaneous events over the last 4 years. Physical constraint or verbal confrontation is most definitely not the answer.

In spite of what people here may say or think, my wife's condition is gradually improving.

 

[Friday]

I really hate having to spell out my own credentials. It should not be necessary

This is the internet. The only way anyone knows anything about anyone else is what’s written down / told. None of us are mindreaders. Unless you directly share something, there’s no way for us to know it.

All I was after was a contact with someone who relates directly to my wife's condition. To date this has not been forthcoming

You might want to go back and reread. Or perhaps not. In either case, in this thread alone, you’ve had responses from

- people with severe PTSD
- people with strong fight responses / tendencies towards violence
- children of people who were violent (towards themselves, their siblings, and/or their other parent... some because of their own untreated PTSD + abusive childhoods like your wife, others for other reasons, as said... the reasons behind DV are complicated.)
- spouses/supporters of people with severe PTSD
- spouses/supporters & ex spouses of people who are, or have been, prone to fits of violence.
- spouses/supporters & ex spouses of people who lash out (verbally/physically)

That you don’t like the answers you’re getting from everyone in that wide spectrum of experience -that the violence is a much bigger deal than you seem to think it is- doesn’t change the fact that everyone responding to you has very personal experience in exactly what you’re asking about. As very nearly every person has credentialed themselves in their responses to you. Which, again, is the only way to know that in this type of format.

If there is anyone out there who is in a similar situation as mine I can communicate privately.

I’d strongly suggest you connect over in the Supporters Forum. The house rules are a bit different over there than on the Sufferer’s side of the fence, or in joint forums like this one. Sufferers are still allowed to post, but they’re not allowed to take their shit out on supporters who are just trying to figure things out / have an entirely different problem set to be working through.

In point of fact, I’m going to follow up that suggestion by locking this thread. As I think you’ve gotten quite enough suffer blow back, already.

There’s no need to rewrite your entire intro, just link it if desired.

Again... Welcome to the community. :)