Keep Having Nightmares Of My Abusive Alchoholic Mother

[cmg1991]

I am 20 and have been away from my mother for a few years now, but I still have flashbacks and nightmares of her. A few months ago I had a dream she tried to kill my cats. (By the way, I absolutely love my cats. They seem to be the only ones who can make me happy besides my boyfriend.) I think this dream is a symbol of the way she would try to ruin my happiness any chance she got.

Recently I had another dream that she was drunk and for some reason in the dream I hit her over and over. Every time I hit her she looked more and more drunk. Then the entire family was there. And they all looked at me with evil looks and turned into demons trying to kill me.

What I think this dream symbolizes is how she used to convince my family to be against me the way she was the minute I was born. She had no reason, so she made up reasons to be angry with me and to convince everyone else to be as well. She used to be so convincing that she convinced me I had done something wrong when I hadn't even done what she was accusing me of.

 

[Moonwolf 89]

I really relate to dreams like that. I'm 22 and I've been away from my abusive mother nearly 5 years. Most of my nightmares relate to her destroying things I love like my dog and my siblings. Usually I have to watch and am completely powerless to stop it.

Definitely similar to my experiences as a child.

Anyway I really wish I could give you some advice as to how to handle them but I haven't gotten anywhere near that point. Just wanted you to know you're not alone.

I think it is really good that you are able to identify what experiences these nightmares are coming from. Maybe you could focus in on those issues with your T?

 

[GreenJeans]

I have extremely similar dreams except what she tried to ruin for me was any relationship I was in. She always embarrassed me. She controlled me and put me down. She embarrassed me in front of her friends, coworkers, my friends, boyfriends, new people... She still does it in my dreams.

 

[kittiekittie]

Holy crap get out of my head. My dad was also a controlling alcoholic who would put me down and what not (he did the same thing to my mom but he at least loved her sometimes) - and although he has not been a part of my life for 10 years, I have these re-occurring dreams that he tries to rejoin my family. I haven't had one of him trying to kill my cat, but I seem to have a lot of nightmares pertaining to my cat that either harm her or prevent me from caring for her which results in her harm. It's weird to me, and I kind of make fun of myself for it, cause I've woken up from dreams crying before because people wouldn't let me take care of my cats??!

 

[GreenJeans]

Kittie, I offer you a hug. I know it doesn't change anything but just wanted to offer one because I know we could use one!