Kicked Out Of Therapists Office

[Deleted member 1860]

At the end of my therapy session today I told my therapist that I wanted to hurt myself and do you know what she did?!?! She kicked me out of her office!!! What do I have to do? Hurt myself in her office so that she'll take me seriously? Now I'm at my psychiatrists office... I hope he is more helpful than she was. WTH is up with so called professionals who don't care? And why do I get stuck with them? Aarrgghh.

 

[Lexa]

I told an AA sponsor that once and she hung up on me. Perhaps they feel they are in over their head? Try not to take it personally and do try to find a new therapist. I dont know that I could trust mine if they did that.

 

[gdf]

Hey Scared,

I feel for you on this one. Being suicidal scared the living crap out of me last year. I was going crazy trying to control the overwhelming compulsions and fear of it and tried to talk about it multiple times with the old T. His response at one point was to make a joke about it in relationship to an old Woody Allen movie he remembered. Not real comforting. He never threw me out of his office but I was never able to engage in an honest, "when should I be worried-check-myself-into-a-psych-ward" conversation and it made me feel less worthy. I think secretly T's are about suicide like doctors are about death. It's a topic which they hope they never have to encounter but inevitably will so they avoid the situation when they can and reject it when it marches in and sits itself down in front of them.

Had you gone home and done it she could have been liable for your death. You may want to consider reporting this behavior to her licensing board. At the very minimum she could have put you in an empty room and gone to her next patient with the understanding she would check on you in an hour to see if your were ok before sending you home. She should have at lest gone through a lethality assessment with you. Scary thought.

For me the new T handle the possibility MUCH better because frankly it still scares me that the thoughts were there so strong before--what if they come back? At least she has it under control.

Gina

 

[anthony]

At the end of my therapy session today I told my therapist that I wanted to hurt myself and do you know what she did?!?! She kicked me out of her office!!! What do I have to do? Hurt myself in her office so that she'll take me seriously?

I would actually say that she did the right thing, because she obviously felt that you weren't serious at all, you were / are having a pity party and wanted attention, because here you are now talking about it and obviously still haven't hurt yourself. Most mental health professionals know who is legitimate and who is not when saying such things, as that is their field off expertise. Talking about it is actually healthy, and knowing you are talking about it means you aren't going to do much off anything. Its not about a lack off compassion, but I suspect it is more to do with you wanted attention, she knew what you where doing, and she didn't bite... again, here you are now complaining about it and wanting people to back your argument.

I would honestly say she made the exact correct decision... Sympathy does not help PTSD, it actually makes it worse. Empathy is valid... sympathy has no place with PTSD itself.

 

[catjudo]

I couldn't have said it better. I started to respond to this thread earlier but couldn't think of a good way to word what I was thinking. But what you've (SOL) written comes across more as a threat than actually asking your therapist for help with troubling thoughts or something you're struggling with.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I want to say NO THANK YOU to catjudo and Anthony for useless posts. WTF do you all know?

I came home and hacked up myself with a razor. I wasn't just crying out for attention, I ACTUALLY NEEDED HELP.

And I know you all hate me here, so I am going to leave. I don't need to be the target of pathetic Internet bullies.

 

[Lauren]

I'm sorry that you feel that way Lonely. This is a place where you can get honest opinions that you can accept or not. I believe that if you had brought it up before the end of the session your T may have taken you more seriously. Could it be that she thought that bringing it up at the end of the session was just a way to try to manipulate them into giving you more time? Years ago, I told my psych that same thing, only that I had been taking handfuls of pills, at the end of the session. He likened it to "cutting" and said he wished I had brought it up before the end of the session so we'd have time to talk about it. We did discuss it the next session. He had also called my husband and had given him instructions because I was truly a suicide threat.

Anthony and Cat were being blunt, but I think it is worth considering how your T was viewing what you said and when.

I know for myself. The time that I truly tried to commit suicide I told nobody what I was doing. No cry for help. In fact I was hidden where nobody could find me to until it was too late and I was very angry when I woke up.

That does NOT mean that your cry for help is invalid. You should bring it up to your T early in the session so that she can help you explore what thoughts are making you feel that way and causing you to cut yourself. She can also help you develop a coping method and put a real strategy in place to help you stop from hurting yourself.

Good luck Sweetie.

 

[vallie000]

There are a lot of incompetent, sometimes unfeeling, even dangerous therapists out there; I know this from my experience and the experience of dozens of other trauma survivors I personally know. Wow. There is no therapeutic, ethical, or moral excuse for what she did. At the minimum, she should have told you what her feelings or thinking was. And as to the comment that you should have mentioned it earlier, I remind our participants that sometimes it takes a whole session to work up the strength to say what's really bothering us and experienced therapists know this. Someone posted below an example of how a good therapist would handle this situation.

As in medicine, the credo for therapists is "Do No Harm." This therapist failed her profession. I suggest you shop for another therapist and when interviewing the next ones, you might mention this incident (without mentioning the therapists name) and see what their reaction is as a qualifier for who you will choose.

Be gentle with yourself. You matter.

 

[anthony]

I came home and hacked up myself with a razor. I wasn't just crying out for attention, I ACTUALLY NEEDED HELP.

And I know you all hate me here, so I am going to leave. I don't need to be the target of pathetic Internet bullies.

Hi Scared,

Now you are making things up which just aren't true. If you are cutting yourself, you where likely cutting before you began therapy. So please don't try and blame myself or another here for having an honest opinion about the situation. Once again, you are looking for a pity party, and this site has never condoned a pity party attitude. Its not effective, its not intelligent, its not going to help you or anyone around you. It is like someone coming on here telling others they are going to kill themselves. There is nothing to be accomplished by it, and if someone wants to kill themself, then they can just go do it without selfishly dragging others into it. Sorry, but this is a pity party.

When you have grown-up and want to actually take some responsibility for your actions, instead of trying to obtain sympathy to justify yourself, then people can help you, and more importantly, you can actually help yourself.

Nobody is bullying you, simply giving you the truth off what you are presenting. Again, this forum has never condoned sympathy, never will... because its completely unhelpful to PTSD.

If you NEED immediate psychiatric help like you are stating, then you need to not be on this forum and actually doing something useful for yourself like contacting your local emergency services. Again, take some responsibility for yourself and your actions please.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

SOL,

I sincerely hope you don't take this post as a personal attack because obviously, you are not in a good way and I can empathise with that. But what I would like to say is :

If you are serious about how you are feeling and are genuinely contemplating suicide - PLEASE pick up the phone and call emergency services. They will help you. It may mean you have to spend some time in a place where you don't want to be (such as a hospital where they can watch you for your own benefit), but seek help. This is a very touchy subject with me. From the bottom of my heart - and said with true love in my heart - please pick up the phone and contact emergency services before doing anything as final as suicide. If you choose to do something as final as harming yourself then it is your decision to do so. Just as it is your decision to ask for help. If you really need this help I'm sure you will not be turned away. It may not be your ideal situation - but if it comes to that then it comes to that. Pick up the phone and check yourself in. Anything is better than suicide.

I'd also like to add - you are really upsetting me. Because this is real to me. My best friend actually did throw himself off a building so I take this issue very seriously. Please, I beg you, do not come into this forum and threaten suicide. If you are serious please pick up the phone because this whole thread has really bothered me. I empathise and I'm very concerned. But there is a time and a place.

 

[emmat]

Hi SOL,

I used to be the same with my Psychiatrist and/or T. I'd feel like killing myself, feel like I simply couldn't survive anymore with these feelings and call them for help. Every time they explained they couldn't prevent me from doing it, only I could prevent myself from taking those steps.

At the time I'd get so hurt and angry - it wasn't what I wanted to hear at all! I wanted hugs, to be told I wasn't loosing it, to be told there was some point living. In short I wanted sympathy and validation by somebody I perceived to be in a position of authority. It's taken me years to start realising that the only way to battle this is to stop running for a 'validation fix' (or pity party as Anthony says above) and to start doing the really hard work needed so that I can see myself as being a valid being with no need to self-loathe to the point I beat myself up or try to kill myself.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not all the way there yet. Some days it's too strong and overcomes my coping mechanisms - then I call the Samaritans and/or try and distract my self to hide from the dark thoughts until the worst of the mood has passed.

It's not easy and you have my understanding. There is nothing that can feel more hurtful than having someone you trust, who you put faith in, close the door on you. Your T obviously has faith that you have the strength to cope with this and that you have made enough progress to be able to start to manage your emotions. I know you won't think of it as an achievement right now, but the fact you are not in hospital or worse now really says a lot about your resolve in a positive manner.

Please keep holding on, you are in a really difficult place right now but by finding ways to deal with this you are moving forward. Don't loose hope.

 

[James B.]

The first time I was suffering from real suicidal thoughts, I called 911 and went to the psych ward, voluntary 72 inpatient, it was just that scary.

The next time I called 911 suicide prevention, I was really suffering from having been sick with gastritis for a long time, and felt my meds were a part of the reason. They were, I reported inaccuratly the time I spent voluntary in-patient was 2 weeks, it was 10 days for the de-tox, and to get me started on a course of lithium etc., and get stable, before I became homeless for 8 months.

The third time was wrong meds again, huge fears and runaway anxiety. I had a breakdown, called 911, and went voluntary inpatient for 72 hours to get off the meds, and get out of the eye of what felt like a very real crisis.

FYI