Knot In The End Of The Rope

[lymphomamama]

Made it through the holiday. Wasn't very pleasant, I admit. Missed meds lately. Main because I'm depressed. Always down as the temps drop. Jan is my tipping point. Just gotta get through the new year, Jan 14th. T on Monday. Glad. Think I Need A talk to psych about med change, feeling more anxious and stressed and even angry.Rage is not good. Not happy camper. Took klonopin, washed down with 2 , of my daughter's delicious pomegranate coctails. Please let sleep come before the sun. Hub leaves for work in a few.. Oh joy

 

[lymphomamama]

Tried to get in all my meds so far today. Yay me. If I can stay on it it right a few days I'll have it down again. Hard to not just remember them but to actually make myself get in here & get them. I have to work up to the Effexor 75 & it's not gonna happen at my current rate.Effexor make anyone else sleepy? I currently havs paired a 37.5 with a buspar 15 and a klonopin 1, all 3x day. I'm thinking the Effexor 75 x 2 day will make for some Gary Busey time.

It got dark pretty early and I spaced off getting one of the fences locked. Can't go out now but it'll be on my mind all night till my husband gets up. Wish my mind didn't go straight to worst case scenario. Lots to watch on tv so that might help cover the sound and entertain my paranoia. Got out some old spiritual books , maybe a little refresher of faith would be helpful.

 

[lymphomamama]

Rough day and it's going to get worse over the next few. Rushed husband to emergency ward early this morning with chest pains. No heart attack, thankfully, but did find some anomalies in the heart indicating blocked arteries. Time bomb for heart attack. So he's in for a weekend at club med and tests on Monday. Depending on where that leads it's a stent or multi-bypass. Did unusually well today. Kept my act together for the most part and no freak out. Well, now that I'm home I'm not feeling as numb or as strong as I was. I can't think, much less write what I feel how scared I am. Fortunately both my kids are here and staying the night. Good. I need it. Going to be some long days ahead.

 

[Changing4Best]

:hug:

Hi Eve, Would you please Private Message me? Thanks!