Late Respose To Events

[Nyx]

I put this in my diary, but I would really like some opinions on this, so I'm creating this thread..

Yesterday I was numb after finding out my mom wasn't coming after all. The teacher was telling me I'm sad, but the kid kept quiet. Today I found out she could come after all, so she'll be here tomorrow. And I just exploded. Well, the kid did. He stomped and growled for a few hours. I'm finally calm but tense, I feel like the smallest mistake could make me bite someone's head off. And I'm confused.. Why this retarded response?

Some background. My mom left the country 8 years ago and we see each other once a year. This year I have to have balneotherapy so I can't go, so she was coming to see me. I wasn't sure how I felt about this visit - had been digging up some feelings towards her I hadn't known about - until recently, when I started feeling good. Then yesterday she told me she had some paperwork problems and wasn't coming. "The teacher" is my logical voice and "The kid" is my nature/feelings.

So my question is... has any of you experienced late responses like this? Why do you think that is?

 

[Lucycat]

Nyx
I read this earlier this afternoon, but am afraid that I do not understand your question.
Are you asking why you reacted today rather than yesterday? Or are you asking why you are responding today to events when your mother left the country 8 years ago?

Either way. I am not sure that I can answer that for you. As you know it is an emotional roller coaster that we ride on. Emotions tumble on us at the most unlikely moments. Add a few stresses and worries, even good stresses and excitement can make us fall over the edge for a wee while.

Maybe somebody else will have a more educated answer?

 

[Muzikluvr]

I'm always willing to take a stab in the dark! :rolleyes:

Assuming you are referring to "not responding" to the abandonment feelings you now have (mentioned in your diary) 8 years ago;and instead feeling them now when she is coming home. I wonder, how many times has she been home since she left you?

Had you thought deep down that she would never leave you, although you encouraged her to go and chose not to go with her?

Had you thought deep down, that she would leave, but she would visit you sooner?

If this is the first time she's returned... I'd say that it has to do with the kid's hurt that it took her 8 years to do so... for starters anyway.

What do you think? Am I barking up the right tree, or way off base?

 

[Nyx]

Thanks for the answers, girls. I was asking about the response of anger that I should have had a day before.

But Muzik, you're not completely off course. I never thought of things like that.. This is the second time she's visiting - first time was 4 years ago, but she only stayed for two days. But I guess I was secretly hoping she wouldn't go, even though I had encouraged her to do that. I was secretly hoping we would go away together to another city - this is how I got myself into the position of being raped the first time...

Too many thoughts and no time to sort through them. Mom's coming today and in the meantime I have come back to better feelings about the visit. So I'll just set myself to have a good weekend with my mom and just see what comes next.

Thanks for taking the time for me girls. I guess the late response was mainly because I am used to not allowing myself to feel what there is to feel. Or maybe I was just waiting to see if indeed she would "abandon" me again by not coming.

 

[anthony]

A PTSD brain does not react the same to first disappointment, then excitement, the way a non-PTSD brain does. The disappointment creates negative emotions, negative emotions create anger. Suddenly, these negative emotions you were just handed due to disappointment, are still creating anger, even though the outcome is now positive. The brain is still trying to comprehend the negative emotions, hence the anger.

A non-PTSD brain won't usually complicate the negative emotions to anger so readily, so if a change to excitement is suddenly thrust upon the person, their cup can now handle bot positive and negative emotions, leaving the negative emotions to quickly dissipate.

Your cup... got negative emotions placed into it, which expands PTSD, thus making less room in your cup, then positive emotions got tossed in, overflowing your cup, out comes anger... until the negative emotions dissipate, and the PTSD takes far greater time to sooth and calm, thus your cup is still full / overflowing for a period after negative news changing to positive news.

Does that explain it simply as possible?

 

[Nyx]

Yes it does, thank you. I guess that would also explain why I still feel so worn up and barely starting to come out of that state...