Hi,
Its a question I can't seem to answer myself.. and maybe ther is no answer but I want your thoughts. I just don't know if its the PTSD that made him decide to stop talking to me or the fact that "he's just not that into me".
Here is my story: I met him in college 4 years ago. We never dated exclusively then but did casually hangout. I liked him from the first night I met him but was always warned about him. People saying he is not a good person, he was in the marines and has PTSD, hes not right in the head, etc. The whole time in college though he wanted a girlfriend, but he never asked me. People thought he liked me but he never showed it. He never had any successful relationship then.
Fast forward 4 years and we randomly ended up living in the same state/city across the country. We strated dating and he was really nice, sweet, and thoughtful. But periods of time would go by sometimes without any contact. I wasn't sure why just the common, oh "hes just no that into me" and move on. So i told him that i give up and if he wanted something casual to just leave me be. He came back saying his phone just didn't work sometimes( he admitted later that he had a pay go phone and was too emberassed to tell me). He apologized then and said hed make it up to me.
A week or so later the I go out of town for the weekend and he sees picture of me with friends(that included me and a guy who is just a freind) and he messaged me asking where is was and who i was hanging out with. So i think he got jealous. Then when i got back in town I hadnt heard from him and my Birthday was coming up so i invited him a week in advance. He said he was excited to go and he was out of town but would be back by then. He was a couple states over about a 10 hour bus ride away(he doesnt have a car). A few days later i get a random text where he is acusing me of using him. I thought he was joking but realised he wasnt and told him to call me so we could talk about it. He did and then told me about he doesnt trust girls, he thinks they are evil, and one broke his heart once and he never got over it. I tried to comfort him saying that a lot of people feel that way, a lot of people get hurt, but you need to trust and hope for the best.
He then got into a discussion of why college went the way it did and that he doesnt know if he can actually like someone that he is not sure he is capabe of the emotions or feeling that way about someone. I was confused because I had witnessed him in college try to date other girls and know he desperately wanted a girlfriend. And I thought it was obvious i liked him. But he said I was always hanging out with other guys and it pissed him off.
Well long story short, he asked me to be his girlfriend that night, said hed be back and take me out and id meet his parents. We were both so excited and he said he was so happy to have met me. My birthday comes up and I havent heard from him.. his phone is shut off and I dont know what to do. I was worried something bad happened he sounded really down when i talked to him befre. The things he was saying were really pretty depressing-- like he fails at everything, etc. The next day after my party he calls me and says he is still out of town-- this is from a new phone number since his other one was out. His friend he was visiting bought him the phone so maybe he felt obligated to stay. He starts talking about scary things like really depressing things that his life is doomed, etc, etc. It scares me and I do my best to comfort him. I suggest that maybe he sould go back home to his parents that they'd be able to help him and hed be safer there..(I was worried he was drinking or doing drugs there and that hed get harmed). He says he will and hed come back and see me and before he hangs up he tells me he loves me.. it was a long pause and it felt real... After that he went missing for a few days and his friends and family coudnt reach him. Appreantly though hes gone missing before. He finally got in contact with his parents and I thought he was headed home. Turns out he stayed in the state and went to a VA. from there i'd here from him once a week. I asked him if he meant what he said when we last spoke and he said he did. He said itd be about 3 months till he could get back and said he loved me again.
When that time came he messgaed me saying he was only coming to visit and he got a new phone. We talked and made plans that he would visit. He said the reason he couldnt come back was bc he couldnt stay with his parents. I suggested he coud stay with me until he got on his feet etc and he agreed and it was a plan. Time rolls around that he is supposed to visit and no word. He stopped answering my calls and emails. Eventually turning his phone off though I only called twicw the third time it was off.
I don't know why he did this or whether I should take it personal. I dont know if its the PTSD or the way he feels about me. I dont know if he is emberassed of his situation or afraid it was moving too fast. I am so confused and so heart broken I don't know what to think or do. He shut me out and it hurts.
I had talked to his friend(that was in the marines with him) and he insist that he is not capable of being in any type of comitted relationship for years based on what he saw when he was visiting. He straight up walked out of his friends house without a word without warning. His friend insist I stop contact the entire time saying I would only enable him.
I didnt want to give up.. I naively thought he had miraculously got better in the short couple months. I dont want to make excuses for him either but I dont know what to think. Thoughts??
Its a question I can't seem to answer myself.. and maybe ther is no answer but I want your thoughts. I just don't know if its the PTSD that made him decide to stop talking to me or the fact that "he's just not that into me".
Here is my story: I met him in college 4 years ago. We never dated exclusively then but did casually hangout. I liked him from the first night I met him but was always warned about him. People saying he is not a good person, he was in the marines and has PTSD, hes not right in the head, etc. The whole time in college though he wanted a girlfriend, but he never asked me. People thought he liked me but he never showed it. He never had any successful relationship then.
Fast forward 4 years and we randomly ended up living in the same state/city across the country. We strated dating and he was really nice, sweet, and thoughtful. But periods of time would go by sometimes without any contact. I wasn't sure why just the common, oh "hes just no that into me" and move on. So i told him that i give up and if he wanted something casual to just leave me be. He came back saying his phone just didn't work sometimes( he admitted later that he had a pay go phone and was too emberassed to tell me). He apologized then and said hed make it up to me.
A week or so later the I go out of town for the weekend and he sees picture of me with friends(that included me and a guy who is just a freind) and he messaged me asking where is was and who i was hanging out with. So i think he got jealous. Then when i got back in town I hadnt heard from him and my Birthday was coming up so i invited him a week in advance. He said he was excited to go and he was out of town but would be back by then. He was a couple states over about a 10 hour bus ride away(he doesnt have a car). A few days later i get a random text where he is acusing me of using him. I thought he was joking but realised he wasnt and told him to call me so we could talk about it. He did and then told me about he doesnt trust girls, he thinks they are evil, and one broke his heart once and he never got over it. I tried to comfort him saying that a lot of people feel that way, a lot of people get hurt, but you need to trust and hope for the best.
He then got into a discussion of why college went the way it did and that he doesnt know if he can actually like someone that he is not sure he is capabe of the emotions or feeling that way about someone. I was confused because I had witnessed him in college try to date other girls and know he desperately wanted a girlfriend. And I thought it was obvious i liked him. But he said I was always hanging out with other guys and it pissed him off.
Well long story short, he asked me to be his girlfriend that night, said hed be back and take me out and id meet his parents. We were both so excited and he said he was so happy to have met me. My birthday comes up and I havent heard from him.. his phone is shut off and I dont know what to do. I was worried something bad happened he sounded really down when i talked to him befre. The things he was saying were really pretty depressing-- like he fails at everything, etc. The next day after my party he calls me and says he is still out of town-- this is from a new phone number since his other one was out. His friend he was visiting bought him the phone so maybe he felt obligated to stay. He starts talking about scary things like really depressing things that his life is doomed, etc, etc. It scares me and I do my best to comfort him. I suggest that maybe he sould go back home to his parents that they'd be able to help him and hed be safer there..(I was worried he was drinking or doing drugs there and that hed get harmed). He says he will and hed come back and see me and before he hangs up he tells me he loves me.. it was a long pause and it felt real... After that he went missing for a few days and his friends and family coudnt reach him. Appreantly though hes gone missing before. He finally got in contact with his parents and I thought he was headed home. Turns out he stayed in the state and went to a VA. from there i'd here from him once a week. I asked him if he meant what he said when we last spoke and he said he did. He said itd be about 3 months till he could get back and said he loved me again.
When that time came he messgaed me saying he was only coming to visit and he got a new phone. We talked and made plans that he would visit. He said the reason he couldnt come back was bc he couldnt stay with his parents. I suggested he coud stay with me until he got on his feet etc and he agreed and it was a plan. Time rolls around that he is supposed to visit and no word. He stopped answering my calls and emails. Eventually turning his phone off though I only called twicw the third time it was off.
I don't know why he did this or whether I should take it personal. I dont know if its the PTSD or the way he feels about me. I dont know if he is emberassed of his situation or afraid it was moving too fast. I am so confused and so heart broken I don't know what to think or do. He shut me out and it hurts.
I had talked to his friend(that was in the marines with him) and he insist that he is not capable of being in any type of comitted relationship for years based on what he saw when he was visiting. He straight up walked out of his friends house without a word without warning. His friend insist I stop contact the entire time saying I would only enable him.
I didnt want to give up.. I naively thought he had miraculously got better in the short couple months. I dont want to make excuses for him either but I dont know what to think. Thoughts??
