Right, hello lovely peoples. Every and each one of you are amazing human beings.
So, it's a prime time to let it out to an audience i can trust.
Since my father died, in a rather unexpected car accident, i have dissasociated and blanked out the event that it, now six year later, feels like it never happened. But it did, and by going through this grief process, barely recall my father who was a brilliant, albiet flawed man. But there have been certain things about i have always kept with me. Like that video tape of creepy classic doctor who he used to scare me with, and now im soo fond of it. Recently i have gone to a councellor, who can't seem to locate the problem, and often goes on tangents that have no meaning. Still i pick out what relates to me and its been a tough time. Since starting, ive experienced, anger frustration and all my lifes seems cloudy like it barely happened. Plus when i was younger i was molested by my cousin who abused me, at such a young age, it confused me about my thoughts and his thoughts for me so i played along. Recently i told this to my mother, she took it okay, but mentioning it would send the family into dissaray. My anger vents out on her, because she has no superior, no one to attack me back, which ive relaised and now feel guilt. People at school, thats where my anger lies. They talk about rape and sex and abuse like as if its humerous, i label them degenerates. I extremely hate them and they pray on my vulnerability, they are scary, and i cant vent out my anger if they beat me up or gang on me, this is because without a father, i have no real protector. Could you help me out, i'm rather delicate at the moment :p
So, it's a prime time to let it out to an audience i can trust.
Since my father died, in a rather unexpected car accident, i have dissasociated and blanked out the event that it, now six year later, feels like it never happened. But it did, and by going through this grief process, barely recall my father who was a brilliant, albiet flawed man. But there have been certain things about i have always kept with me. Like that video tape of creepy classic doctor who he used to scare me with, and now im soo fond of it. Recently i have gone to a councellor, who can't seem to locate the problem, and often goes on tangents that have no meaning. Still i pick out what relates to me and its been a tough time. Since starting, ive experienced, anger frustration and all my lifes seems cloudy like it barely happened. Plus when i was younger i was molested by my cousin who abused me, at such a young age, it confused me about my thoughts and his thoughts for me so i played along. Recently i told this to my mother, she took it okay, but mentioning it would send the family into dissaray. My anger vents out on her, because she has no superior, no one to attack me back, which ive relaised and now feel guilt. People at school, thats where my anger lies. They talk about rape and sex and abuse like as if its humerous, i label them degenerates. I extremely hate them and they pray on my vulnerability, they are scary, and i cant vent out my anger if they beat me up or gang on me, this is because without a father, i have no real protector. Could you help me out, i'm rather delicate at the moment :p
