In July of this year, I was fired from my job for taking medical marijuana for my panic attacks from ptsd.
I absolutely loved my job and I worked for the agency for two years, planned to work for another 30 with the same agency but they fired me.
Since then, I lost my health insurance, making it harder to get therapy and medication.
I am a full time student and got another full time job but quit that one myself because it was such a toxic work environment. It was overwhelming, my workload was way too much and there was no working together as a team.
I took a part time job thinking I would get enough hours at a restaurant while I go to school, but they cannot give me enough hours and I'm not able to pay my bills.
I wanted to re-apply with the agency that fired me, but they filled all of the positions already in the department I was in. I will have to work in a different department, doing work that I'm not even going to school for.
And the positions don't come open very often. Everyone basically has my idea of retiring in those positions.
I had a dream that I longed for suicide. I wanted it instead of living on. I feel like I'm too scared to kill myself. But, what else am I gonna do? I can't pay my bills. I am so maxed out my with work and school my relationships are suffering.
I have to suck up to a narcissistic boss at the restaurant and literally thank him for giving me ANY hours at all.
My school is all like, "we'll help you with employment, we have an app" all of the employers on this app want students who are already graduating and the competition is so high that I would not be a first pick anyway.
I just want something to go for me and it's not. I feel stuck. If this life doesn't have anything for me, why live it? Why continue living when my life is going to be nothing but, why couldn't I do this, why couldn't I do that. I'm trying to take care of my responsibilities but I just can't.
I absolutely loved my job and I worked for the agency for two years, planned to work for another 30 with the same agency but they fired me.
Since then, I lost my health insurance, making it harder to get therapy and medication.
I am a full time student and got another full time job but quit that one myself because it was such a toxic work environment. It was overwhelming, my workload was way too much and there was no working together as a team.
I took a part time job thinking I would get enough hours at a restaurant while I go to school, but they cannot give me enough hours and I'm not able to pay my bills.
I wanted to re-apply with the agency that fired me, but they filled all of the positions already in the department I was in. I will have to work in a different department, doing work that I'm not even going to school for.
And the positions don't come open very often. Everyone basically has my idea of retiring in those positions.
I had a dream that I longed for suicide. I wanted it instead of living on. I feel like I'm too scared to kill myself. But, what else am I gonna do? I can't pay my bills. I am so maxed out my with work and school my relationships are suffering.
I have to suck up to a narcissistic boss at the restaurant and literally thank him for giving me ANY hours at all.
My school is all like, "we'll help you with employment, we have an app" all of the employers on this app want students who are already graduating and the competition is so high that I would not be a first pick anyway.
I just want something to go for me and it's not. I feel stuck. If this life doesn't have anything for me, why live it? Why continue living when my life is going to be nothing but, why couldn't I do this, why couldn't I do that. I'm trying to take care of my responsibilities but I just can't.
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