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List Your Joke, Funny Caption To Brighten Ptsd

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Five reasons to believe computers are female:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."

4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

Five reasons to believe computers are male:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
 
Just been to the gym and there is a new machine. I ony used it for about an hour then I started to feel sick.It`s good though, it does everything... Kitkats, crisps, Mars Snickers ..
 
Husband:Oh, come on.
Wife:
Leave me alone!
Husband:
It won't take long.
Wife:
I won't be able to sleep afterwards.
Husband:
I can't sleep without it.
Wife:
Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?
Husband:
Because I'm hot.
Wife:
You get hot at the darnedest times.
Husband:
If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.
Wife:
If you love me you'd be more considerate.
Husband:
You don't love me anymore.
Wife:
Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.
Husband:
Please....go on.
Wife: All right, I'll do it.
Husband:
What's the matter? You need a flashlight?
Wife:
I can't find it in the dark.
Husband:Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!
Wife:
There! Are you satisfied?
Husband:
Oh, yes.
Wife:
Is it up far enough?
Husband:
Yeah! that's good.
Wife:
Right! Now go to sleep.
And the next time you want the bloody window open, do it yourself
 
rofl.jpg


Hilarious Sandra
 
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