Living On Farm Helping Me Accept Death

[Gloria]

Well, i read my hospital report which is like trying to read a foreign language. In the past few days I got nowhere by searching on the internet. But yesterday, I read the actual measurements of my heart on the report. Normal heart thickness is 20-37 mm. My heart is between 1.5 cm to 3.1 cm thick. (I hope it's okay to abbreviate cm and mm??)

So for all I know it will go back down to normal size but the information that I found sounds like I'm going to drop dead any minute. :eek: I will wait and see what the doctor says. I'm not in the least bit nervous because I'm so exhausted.

Thank you for your concern. Rest assured that my animals are so beautiful and well trained that I know there will be hundreds of applicants to adopt them. They are champion blood lines and registered which helps also.

Look at these dogs. They will get adopted?

Hugs,
Gloria

 

[Gloria]

Lately I thought about this thread I wrote and it no longer true. We have goats, dogs, cats and horses who are near death. I also have a champion dog expecting pups. There is a lot of birth and death with chicks hatching and babies being born but the dying animals are taking huge toll on my positive outlook. It's so sad to see them fading. They aren't suffering but it's just sad. I don't think this helps me accept death. I still get very emotional when even a little chick dies.

 

[Only 1 of me]

Hey Gloria, I've been reading this thread and its so lovely to hear abut and see all the little babies, and also to hear about the love and care you show for all your animals. I know my baby dog Gracie, my avatar pic) won't be here much longer (she has incurable cancer) and I just try to live in the moment with her and give her as much love and attention as I can. It's just the two of us so I'm worried about how it will be at the end, but I'm just hoping to look after her as much as I can.

 

[CraftyCath]

Hi Gloria, so good to hear from you. :hug:

I know what you mean about your animals dying but I truly believe that we would not be loving humans if we didn't feel sad whenever one dies.

I don't think we truly get over death, but we do learn to live with it and to handle it better. Do you recover quicker after the death of one of your babies or does it drag out and drag you down? We can accept death but we should never become emotionally detached Grieving over the loss of one of your chicks is perfectly normal in my opinion.

My boor budgerigar Robbie had a big fall last week and landed on her back. She couldn't move and even after few hours she was struggling to move. Just watching her struggle made me feel physically sick and I sobbed and sobbed. I made my husband take her to the vets but I couldn't go with him as I was too upset. I did not expect him to bring her back home. The vet thought she had a concussion but she still has restricted movement. I don't know if she is just badly bruised or if there has been some paralysis. I don't know if she will make it. :(

Then my sister called round and she started to cry. She said it brought back memories of all the cats she had loved and lost.

Your compassion for your animals is a credit to you. It may not be helping you to get over the death and perhaps there is more work for you to do in that department but I don't see being upset over the loss of an animal as a negative emotion but a positive one.

You are a special, compassionate lady and you are a blessing to your animals. x

my baby dog Gracie,

So sorry to hear this Only 1 of me. Hugs to you. x:hug:

 

[Froggie]

It's been a while I haven't been on your thread. I'm so sorry to hear about your health and your animals. If you do figure a way to put your goat to sleep, one of my uncles had a hard time to kill animals for meat so he would get them really drunk beforehand. He said that they can feel that something was going to happen and having them drunk would take that stress away from them.

 

[Gloria]

I have seen the toughest grown men cry over the loss of a pet. I think that it is harder to deal with than the loss of a person because you aren't busy with funeral arrangements, etc. to distract you. Then there is the role of playing God and deciding if it's the right thing to do to put them out of their misery.

I have gotten tougher as if there is deformed chick I will put it out of it's misery. I do this thing when an animal gets near death. I emotionally start to detach from the animal. I start accepting the death and preparing myself. I admit that once I didn't pet or show affection for a dog that was dying years ago but my dog but it's different with the dog that is dying of a stroke. I always kept her on a diet so she wouldn't get fat and unhealthy but considering her condition she is given treats constantly. I swear she has never been happier and is getting very demanding for her treats.

Also our 24 year old cat that gets IV's twice a day is allowed to sit at the table at meals now. We started doing that three years ago when the veterinarian said she had only a few months to live. Little did we know that she would sit at many Christmas and Thanksgiving feasts and eat off a plate!

All I can say is that my heart goes out to everyone that is faced with this. It's a toughie. Having PTSD I seem to feel closer to my animals than people so it's especially difficult.
Hugs,
Gloria

 

[Only 1 of me]

Lost my little dog last week. In the end it was sudden, but quick and painless for her. I'm doing OK, struggling with feeling alone. The house is very quiet and the bed Is very big. All sorts if little strange things, like when I finish my breakfast toast I have the little corner saved, and I miss the warm weight of her sleeping body. I took all her bowls and beds and toys to the shelter which was a good thing to do and stayed strong (I didn't walk past the adopt me faces). Moving house too which has helped as no memories of her in the new place.

 

[CraftyCath]

Lost my little dog last week.

:cry: I am so sorry Only 1 of me. :hug: