Loneliness

[falling_wave]

I am so lonely and have been most of my life. I was completely isolated with the exclusion of my immediate family until my late teenage years. Since then I have adjusted and am comfortable being with other people. I have people asking me all the time why I am still single or why I don't have more friends. I can't explain it. I don't think I have very many opportunities but I have a hard time feeling connected with other people unless I have come to know them through people I am already close with. I think sometimes also my expectation and internal belief tells me that it won't work or nothing will come of it so naturally nothing does. I also isolate when I have intense feelings because I feel so different from other people and don't want them to see that. I think second to fear loneliness is the worst and deepest feeling ever. I'm sorry you are experiencing this.
I think making a routine is helpful because routines don't vary as easily as emotions. You can go to a weekly class, go to the gym every morning, become regular after work at a particular coffee shop, or go to church every sunday. The Routine helps and over time people seem familiar and it's feels connecting when they recognize who you are. You may even form frienfships. I'm not sure why but writing down my thoughts uncensored or taking a shower are the things that help me most when I can't be around people. Hope that helped.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

@SheilaKathy that's pretty cool. I have an aunt who has PTSD. But we mirror each other. Like when she reacts all crabby and edgy I will notice immediately while nobody else would, and the other way around. We are like two explosives :D. Not the best combination around.

I just can't seem to get over the hump with the vulnerability thing. So, at times I desperately want a connection but don't know how to accomplish that and I end up feeling lonely.

Yeah I do get that quite often too. Except it's not like I'm scared of sharing but it feels more like there is a wall inside me that says "uh... why should I communicate?" I'm a bit socially impaired like that sometimes. Especially when it comes to calling people on the phone, it feels weird.

I think sometimes also my expectation and internal belief tells me that it won't work or nothing will come of it so naturally nothing does.

That might be part of it too. Your advice about a routine is really good. I don't have a job right now so I am also partially bored out of my mind. You can only do so much things by yourself until all of it starts to become kind of dull. I did apply for a volunteer job that I might hear more about in January.

@sun seeker not hang gliders (although that would be so freaking awesome too), but I fly "normal" gliders, they are like planes except they are very very slender, very light and have a huge wingspan :)

 

[LifeCutShort]

Loneliness intensifies the symptoms of PTSD and depression. Loneliness on its own is terrible, let alone combining it with trauma or depression. I know I am much worse off because I am a loner.