KwanYingirl
Diamond Member
My daughter and I have had a rocky relationship since I suffered a severe chemical exposure in the late 90’s. She was only 14 at the time and I was so sick, I was on the couch for a year until I started having acupuncture. Slowly I healed, was able to go back to college and start a business. I am always having to avoid fumes of any kind. Now, my biggest hurdle is my PTSD begun in childhood and reinforced several times as an adult once strangled, once drugged and kidnapped, and then the chemical exposure.
As a teen, she basically lived at friends houses because if she came home smelling like perfume and cigarettes, she had to put all her clothes in the washing machine and take a full shower. Sometimes she would spend time at home. Let’s just fast forward. College graduation, ignored me and got drunk with her brother and father. Advanced degree graduation, ignored me and drunk with the boys. I was not welcome in her apartments. But if something required advice from a smart person she turned to me. I was always encouraging and boosting her self esteem. I found adventures for her that enriched her. But she didn’t want to be around me.
She’s 34 now and I was snubbed at her wedding, she complained that I couldn’t host her bridal shower, but it was perfect and she did thank me for that. She came to my therapist for 2 hours a couple of years ago because she couldn’t stand my triggers and the fallout from it. I was not in the room with them, so I just know that my T tried to impress upon her how triggers work and the lingering effect of them. We can’t get along. I think she has PTSD from seeing me so sick at such a young age. She avoids me as much as possible. I take her to plays and concerts, but I was ghosted at her wedding. That was very painful for me.
What can I do to help her understand the effect of my PTSD on her life? I’ve given her this site as a resource but she hasn’t wanted to check it out. Are there any good books out there for children of us? She is getting increasingly angry at me. Very hurtful and certainly irrational. I know she drinks a lot and they grow there own pot. She’s been trying to get pregnant but she miscarries. She weighs about 90 pounds. I have encouraged her to get acupuncture and to get some fat on her body. It’s none of my business I’m told.
She calls me toxic as well as crazy, lazy, she disproves of my life at the beach. I tell her that trying to stay focused on my achievments would help her be less negative, but it falls on deaf ears.
I suggested she come see my T again. She said I belong in a lockup. I want her tested for PTSD. The self medication, resentments, avoidance. As far as I know, she’s never been afraid of being killed although she was stalked when she was 16. I got her help as soon as I found out about it.
You know, I can’t really blame her for being angry with my illness. It’s her well being I want to help with.
I’m open to any suggestions.
As a teen, she basically lived at friends houses because if she came home smelling like perfume and cigarettes, she had to put all her clothes in the washing machine and take a full shower. Sometimes she would spend time at home. Let’s just fast forward. College graduation, ignored me and got drunk with her brother and father. Advanced degree graduation, ignored me and drunk with the boys. I was not welcome in her apartments. But if something required advice from a smart person she turned to me. I was always encouraging and boosting her self esteem. I found adventures for her that enriched her. But she didn’t want to be around me.
She’s 34 now and I was snubbed at her wedding, she complained that I couldn’t host her bridal shower, but it was perfect and she did thank me for that. She came to my therapist for 2 hours a couple of years ago because she couldn’t stand my triggers and the fallout from it. I was not in the room with them, so I just know that my T tried to impress upon her how triggers work and the lingering effect of them. We can’t get along. I think she has PTSD from seeing me so sick at such a young age. She avoids me as much as possible. I take her to plays and concerts, but I was ghosted at her wedding. That was very painful for me.
What can I do to help her understand the effect of my PTSD on her life? I’ve given her this site as a resource but she hasn’t wanted to check it out. Are there any good books out there for children of us? She is getting increasingly angry at me. Very hurtful and certainly irrational. I know she drinks a lot and they grow there own pot. She’s been trying to get pregnant but she miscarries. She weighs about 90 pounds. I have encouraged her to get acupuncture and to get some fat on her body. It’s none of my business I’m told.
She calls me toxic as well as crazy, lazy, she disproves of my life at the beach. I tell her that trying to stay focused on my achievments would help her be less negative, but it falls on deaf ears.
I suggested she come see my T again. She said I belong in a lockup. I want her tested for PTSD. The self medication, resentments, avoidance. As far as I know, she’s never been afraid of being killed although she was stalked when she was 16. I got her help as soon as I found out about it.
You know, I can’t really blame her for being angry with my illness. It’s her well being I want to help with.
I’m open to any suggestions.
