Sufferer Looking For Help And Understanding

[tryingtofly]

I was diagnosed with PTSD four years ago due to childhood and spousal abuse. I have been through some therapy and have been hospitalized a few times due to suicidal ideation. Currently not in treatment, just winging it at the moment and trying to educate myself on PTSD and ways to help myself.

I am doing really well at this time and I am grateful for getting this break from my emotions and symptoms. Unfortunately I know at any moment I could be triggered and end up in a terribly depressive, dissociated, suicidal state of mind. I am without any form of support which is making all of this much harder than it should be.

I have spent the majority of my life isolating myself from the world and to a certain extent I enjoy being alone but I do get terribly lonely at times and the loneliness itself is a trigger. I have quiet a bit of problems with emotional flashbacks, dissociating, memory, brain fog,and cognitive issues. I also do a lot of splitting, when I have been triggered into a full blown crises.

I'm pretty proud of myself for making it as far as I have without much help, and in a situation that it not the safest. My goal is to get past some deeply embedded fears I have, so that I can move forward and start a new chapter in my life.

 

[RavenGirl]

@tryingtofly , welcome. Everyone here is very kind and understanding. I hope you find the support that you are looking for. :)

 

[Intrepid]

Welcome. Glad you made it. I like your attitude.

 

[tryingtofly]

Thank you both for the warm welcome :)

 

[Lucycat]

Hi and Welcome to the forum.
I hope you find the information on here helpful and the people supportive - I know I have!

 

[intothelight]

@tryingtofly Welcome to the forum!

This is a great site for information, but more importantly the support of the members here is invaluable. I hope you find it beneficial to your healing.

 

[JV04]

Hi, I am a new member to the forum myself, and can relate to what you have posted. I, too, am winging it, and like you, I hope that I can find what I need in this forum to have a new place to feel understood and supported.