That's a bummer. I can understand how that would cause you to hold back your emotions. I found myself...
Oh, yes. I can - and do -comfort him when ever he needs it. I know that I have learned to be a "people pleaser". Not just in the way of an abused person would. But, I think that it is "just part of me".
Because of my abuse, I learned how to read people and what they need. Even a stranger, who just needs a kind word. I have noticed and tested this idea on a few people.
I have a niece who was very upset with her mom once.(my sister) I watched my mom/grandma go upstairs to comfort her. When she came back down, she had no emotion on her face. None. I went upstairs to see my niece and knew just what to say to her. She was feeling better quickly and we both went back down stairs together.
I think that we all learn different things - talents - from what we grew up with. I read lots of articles on how "survivors" (as I like to call us) learn to read people. A good example is a father who hurts his daughter. She sees that he is wearing a red tie. So, the next time he wears a red tie, she hides. I learned to observe people and their expressions. I can then try to figure out what they might need. I've had bosses at work notice this about me, in a good way. (A good quality to have for any office job)
I think that it helps to try and see the things that we learned and grew up with, as things about us that we can utilize, and use, to see ourselves more positively. I have a hard time doing this sometimes, but I try.
