Mad At My T :(

[Smile]

Hey, don't worry about not telling her this session. Sometimes telling a person you're angry a...

Hmmm, don't think I can do that. I once sent her an email that was kind of fraught with high (maybe dangerous) emotions.

She didn't respond and then at the next session told me that there's a lot if liability on her part involved with email communication and therefore she only uses email for scheduling & such.

 

[sun seeker]

But over the past few weeks I've had this anger building up towards her and I have no idea why!?

Transference, possibly?

This might be an especially good time to bring it up, because if you don't have anything to back it up with, it means it isn't about her. You can get that off the table right off the bat. On to what you are being reminded of and work on that. That's what it looks like from here anyway.

 

[seedling]

My therapist also liked it when I would get mad at him. One time he said he would rather I was mad at him than mad at myself. Another time he said "This is the first time you are mad at me, it won't be the last." It didn't faze him at all. He handled the situation and it wasn't a big deal for him to make whatever adjustment I needed. Kinda funny, now :).

Looking back I can understand how happy he was that I was able to express it.

 

[Nicci777]

I've been seeing my T for at least a year now and have been really happy with her. She's very different th...

Actually I have been feeling this way also. My therapist watches me cry or disassociate and gives me time but no comfort. He says things like well I think you are doing the right things in life but he doesn't say wow that must be hard ik it hurts when you wanna destroy things or have to look at the man who sexually abused your little girl. He is helping in other ways but I guess I have to talk to him. I mean we ARE paying them to help us and they do care some so I assume they would like to know what they can do better? So maybe talk to her.. I'm sure she wants to know .

 

[Panda Bear]

So maybe talk to her.. I'm sure she wants to know

In my experience, yes, they do want to know what is bothering us. Even if it's about them.

Anger is a tough one, and I too struggle expressing it in a safe and reasonable way. From storming out of the office and slamming the door behind me...to loud out bursts. Nothing surprised him. Though he will not allow me to be mean to him, I can be angry, but must deal with it. If I can't do it on my own, he offers to help walk me through it. And reminds me that when I get angry at a subject, and he is firm with me, that he isn't angry or upset with me.

 

[Smile]

Transference, possibly?

This might be an especially good time to bring it up, because if you don't...

What type of transference are you referring to? I've never had that issue but this is also my first female T so I kind of feel like I'm on new ground even though things have been working out...

 

[Nicci777]

Wow you must have a very understanding therapist.. Being able to storm out etc.. I wish I could show that much emotion. I fear rejection.. Would be scared he would refuse to keep seeing me.. But it's hard for me to trust men for good reason. I'm learning to trust him though it's hard. I have court coming up. Custody trial. He said he's my advocate and will help. Hope he will testify and not let me down like my pastor did. He never showed up.. Who would have thought you would have to subpoena your pastor lol God..

 

[Panda Bear]

@Nicci777

My T has assured that he will not refuse to see me, he has many times over told me that he is going nowhere, that I simply will not succeed at pushing him away. He is steady, reliable, consistent, caring, abounds with grace. Faces when he has hurt me....he is caring man.

The emotions got the best of me, the door slamming incident was not my finest moment. But it happened and he still accepts me back.

 

[Nicci777]

That's encouraging. Thank you for sharing. I hope I can have that kind of rapport with my therapist one day.