Made An Emergency Appt With My T...

[Rob_Dog19]

My appointment was ok...I didn't give her my note, but I did tell her about 50% of what was on my mind. She was concerned enough that she put me into an emergency appointment (full hour) for tomorrow morning, and she told me to take a double dose of my sedative to get sleep and also to ensure that I would be calm enough to not harm myself...overall, it went ok, but i still have two appointments left this week, so we'll see.

 

[Rob_Dog19]

Second appointment of the week went...ok...she decided now would be the perfect time to do a little bit of digging since I have so many appointments scheduled. uggh. I don't feel like I have any more power over myself than I did at the beginning of this week...and now I feel all discombobulated ...She suggested that I put it in a "vault" in the back on my mind with several keys and lock the abuse away...but it's not that easy...I've tried it before, and it just reared its ugly head into my life unexpectedly. :( I wish I could see a future for myself free from feeling like this...but I just can't :(

 

[Lucycat]

She suggested that I put it in a "vault" in the back on my mind with several keys and lock the abuse away...but it's not that easy...I've tried it before, and it just reared its ugly head into my life unexpectedly.

Sounds strange advice to me. Now that it is out of the vault it would surely be better to process it, and then repackage it in a less harmful way. So it is there for you to take a peek if you wish without it boiling over.

and now I feel all discombobulated .

Love the word. Have no idea what it means, but it sounds good!!

 

[Rob_Dog19]

yeah, i kind of feel the same way about the vault thing...but she doesn't think i'm ready to start the next process i guess...i don't know :s

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

Wow... it sounds like you are going through a really tough time. Congratulations on being able to take charge to contact your T! I often can't find a way to get help when I'm feeling bad. I am glad that you are taking emergency meds. For me being able to sleep during a crisis is essential to make it from day to day. Please keep us updated on how you are doing... We care...

I have had a past therapist suggest a vault concept a number of years ago and was not able to make use of it. It simply did not click for me. Then recently, my current therapist suggested a similar idea, but added to it the suggestion to change it, add to it things that make it more "me." She had me close my eyes and imagine the vault and let my own creativity take over. I'm a very visual thinker and probably went to extremes, but it worked. I pictured leaving it in her office and having a stuffed bear and a dragon in her office guard it over the weekend. At my house I saw a toy crocodile and decided to use that as a last barrier to not let the memories get to me. I carried it around all weekend. It really worked.

The following session I asked my therapist how this exercise was different and she explained that if I can take control and adapts ideas, visualizations to myself and in as many different senses as possible (from visual to tactile to auditory) it will become a more malleable tool. Maybe you can find ways to temporarily lock the intrusive memories away for a bit...

Good luck!

 

[Rob_Dog19]

thanks :) I'll have to try that...I'm sure there are some stuffed froggies around who would be willing to taser anyone who tried to pry my vault open...:p

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

The stuffed froggies to taser any intruders sounds perfect... You could either set a froggie up in a scene or draw a picture or whatever else comes to mind... Sending you kind thoughts...