Make It Stop

[It's Me]

Heya,

I'm beginning to have issues, real big issues with PTSD and other stuff. Seriously I'm beginning to feel like I'm slipping away from everyone and everything. I'm in the back ground and everything's over there. Sure I can be sociable and act like myself, but that's not me anymore. How do you avoid the awkward 'how are you?' which you're supposed to respond with an 'yeah I'm good, you?' and if you don't then it gets awkward and the other person feels obligated to ask why and you end up explaining and then they say something like 'oh, on a brighter note'.
It hurts and no one quite gets it. It bubbles up at unexpected moments and I feel like the world may possibly be better minus me because I don't seem to be benefiting it and just annoying everyone.
I just want someone who vaguely knows how it feels? Please?

Me x

 

[RussH]

I understand how you feel, in fact many people here on the forum will understand, because we have PTSD.
And one thing I have learned; people who don't have PTSD, don't understand it.

Here on the forum you will meet people that understand, and that does help.

Have you done an introduction yet?

 

[Jane.l]

Hi me - I think most people here will know how that feels. It's quite common to want to isolate and keep safe in your cave with PTSD, sometimes I can cope with people sometimes not so much.

You also gain Oscar standard acting skills - yes I am good thanks - is going to be the correct answer 99.9% . As you have noticed people don't and won't get it and I would be very cautious who you take into your confidence - welcome

 

[It's Me]

Hi,
I have, I've been on here for a few months and sort of browsing and posted a few topics. I don't know, everything was going okay then it went totally down down down

 

[Jane.l]

Are you in therapy ?

 

[It's Me]

Hi Jane,
Yep, sometimes I would just like someone to hug me and not let go. And others I'd love to lie in my bed all day (and that's not just because I'm a teenager). Yep again, if you don't then that's wrong or people over hear from your conversation that you're not and then want to know from the person that you told why not...rumours...the joys of

 

[It's Me]

No I'm not, I got my PTSD diagnosis and then they left it, with no help at all - I have spent ages trying to get help (even just sleeping tablets is like gold dust it seems) and I finally got onto an urgent CAMHS referral and that got sent back saying sorry we don't want you, bye. Which really got me down so low because I was oh so happy I'd finally got somewhere.

 

[Jane.l]

How's therapy going ? Does your therapist know you feel like you are having big issues at the moment?

 

[RussH]

I find that I typically will tell people that I am ok; that way it is not a lie, and it satisifys them, so they don't ask more questions.

 

[Jane.l]

Sorry I crossed posts - so u are not in therapy or have any help ?

 

[It's Me]

It's okay :)
Nope, I have a bereavement counsellor....she's not overly helpful though to be honest she just rambles on about god knows what half the time.
Yeah, I'm okay, then smile and laugh a bit and hurriedly enter conversation or leave!

 

[Jane.l]

Who diagnosed you? Could you go back to them?