"make The Choice To Move Past It"

[EveHarrington]

I think that there are actually many people who wallow in self pity by choice for the simple fact that it gets them attention. If they healed and changed and engaged in growth, they'd risk losing that attention.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

Chemically speaking deciding to put something in the past when you have PTSD isn't always an issue of mind over matter. There is a point though where there is a choice. Sometimes making a choice to put something behind you is deciding to go into therapy. By going into therapy you process traumas which helps you move through them and in a way eases them behind you. The issue of past traumas staying in your past though is in part how trauma affects the brain and the chemicals involved.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Maybe it is just me but this idea of Oprahs is a hasty way of saying forgive and forget. I had that one stuffed down my throat before while I was in the thick of recovery in therapy.

Of course we all wish we could move on but I think we each make the choice to do that in a way that best works for us to aide us in our recovery process. When I was ready I had EMDR that literally changed my life for the better in so many different ways. But all of the work that had been done before had prepared me for this step.

Sounds like Oprah is having an agenda of her own to me.

 

[Chimera]

I'd like to see that particular episode.
If, in fact those are her words...she has done a mammoth disservice to sufferers of many mental health disorders.

How dare she trivialize people's efforts and challenges in healing. And in ptsd in particular, wrought with flashbacks and intrusive thoughts...
Not only insensitive but wholly inaccurate and ignorant.

Eta.
Takes self loathing to the nth level of hell...stupid woman!

 

[Air]

I'd like to see that particular episode.
If, in fact those are her words...she has done a mammoth disse...

Not an easy watch as I say, fair warning.

It's not quite that bad, it's not like it's really the main part of the show. It seems more like it's just sort of an oversimplification out of ignorance but good intentions from her. I think it's more that she's trying to make it inspiring that the guy moved past it pretty well and just forgetting that it might seem a bit dismissive of people who take a long time or never manage to deal with it quite as well, and it's not like she's intending to shame people who are still dealing with trauma. I'm not pissed off at her for it, just more about how it's kind of a common misconception.

Edit: Though I should mention, I find Oprah to often be kind of exploitative. It's sort of part of the parcel with TV especially TV that focuses around sensationalized interviews so it doesn't really piss me off, but I do find it distasteful which is why I normally avoid Oprah.

 

[Chimera]

But it is quite that bad...don't you see?
Trauma is by its very nature, a memory of itself.
It always comes back, and with work and healing it may stop kicking our asses, but it's always present.
And honestly, someone with the scope that Oprah has? She damn well aught to have her facts atraight.
Ps
My phone doesn't give me links here, but I will look it up, thank you, Air

 

[Air]

But it is quite that bad...don't you see?
Trauma is by its very nature, a memory of itself.
It always c...

Yeah but I'm more pissed off about the fact that it's a misconception than at her. It's like I'm pissed about it, but it's not directed her way even if she really should know better.

 

[scout86]

I'm not sure she was trivializing anything. I don't know that she was suggesting getting past stuff is easy. I also don't know that this guy has PTSD. Could be he doesn't.
What do you think would have been a better way for her to handle that part of the interview?

 

[Air]

I'm not sure she was trivializing anything. I don't know that she was suggesting getting past stuff is...

I'm not sure he does either, but I'm also not sure it changes much, I mean the sentiment of getting over it would be the same.

And yeah, like I was saying before, in the actual video it isn't too bad and I'm sure her intentions were good. I think maybe just asking how he managed to move past it so effectively could have been better, would have had a more interesting response possibly as well. It's not the interview itself that pisses me off as much as it kind of draws attention to the concept that moving past trauma is as simple as just choosing to get over it.

 

[Whyteferret]

I'm not sure she was trivializing anything. I don't know that she was suggesting getting past stuff is...

It depends on how you move beyond it. Many people can stuff it into a "box" and move forward. It may even seem they have put it away. I found the hard way that can be a huge form of avoidance. It still sits there, simmering. Often it explodes later- there's some sort of trigger.

I didn't choose not to move beyond it. I thought I had. Found out the hard way that it's there. And I can't just stuff it back into the box. It doesn't fit anymore.

That said. Yes, we have a choice. We can sit where we are or work on it. Working on it is a choice to move on. We're just in the slow lane. The really slow lane....

There are also factors that impact of someone develops PTSD. Many we have no control over.

 

[Chimera]

Watching his eyes...he is still troubled by this history. He looks stunned, dissociated?
A lot of "lead in" questions and guided statements...have I missed mention of therapy?
I know she misses the mark here..it's all wrong, no mention of his effort to heal, only superficial result.

 

[Air]

It depends on how you move beyond it. Many people can stuff it into a "box" and move forward. It m...

Oh yeah totally, and I do agree that there is a choice that needs to be made. That said, it's still not like "I made a choice to get over it, and now I'm over it". I mean maybe for some people it is, but it's definitely not guaranteed to work like that. I guess when I hear her say "make a choice to move on" I feel like she's kind of saying "once you choose to get over it, you're all good". I'm paraphrasing, but she said something like "make a choice whether you learn from it and accept it and move on, or stay and let it consume you". It just seems to me to suggest she thinks that after trauma people make a choice to either get on with their lives or be affected by it (whether or not PTSD is how it affects them), and I think that's definitely not how it works. I mean I've heard the same thing from some people: "Why don't you just put it behind you and move on? Life is what you make of it." which could be interpreted as true, but they generally just mean all of the sudden having it be like nothing happened. If he did move on from it then good for him, but not everyone has that kind of choice.