Making Progress In Moving On From Horrible Therapist

[Girlgirlgirl]

Well, I've been making progress from moving on from the very bad therapist I had the misfortune of having. I have recognized that there was unchecked counter-transference issues of his, unethical diagnosing, unresolved issues of his, discrimination against me as a woman, survivor, person with a mental illness, person with different political/religious views, sexual orientation discrimination, and unethical therapy in general. I have gotten to the point where I acknowledge what he did was wrong, but I still feel so hurt. I reported him to the licensing board and they said the evidence was not conclusive and let him off. I sent him an anger/constructive criticism letter through email, to which he did not reply. I wrote a review about his therapy online, to which he only responded by having other former patients write positive reviews to make up for mine. I went to an outpatient program, which kept me stable for an amount of time and prevented me from offing myself and I do feel better since then. I don't know. I just want to forget what he did to me and move on-it's constantly on my mind, although less so than before. I wonder if processing the original trauma that he retraumatized me about with the new therapist will help, and I'll be doing that next week. I hope so; I really can't live like this. I guess right now I just feel the betrayal and abandonment-he didn't end the therapy in an ethical manner either, and has only demonstrated concern for his professional reputation in relation to what he did to me. There were lots of red flags with this guy, be careful who you have as your therapist! there are literal nutjobs out there. I guess I just don't know what to do next to move on?

 

[Padfield]

I'm sorry to hear that you've had such a hard time. I am happy to hear that you are still with us! I went through a dozen therapists before I found one who was a good fit. And that also cared. Personally, I would practice radical acceptance. And move on. Definitely doesn't sound like it was a good fit. Nor was it healthy. Sounds like a bad egg. Just because someone is a therapist, doesn't mean they care. Sadly. They are only human as you and I.

 

[BlueOrange]

You may need to talk about the previous therapist with the new therapist, and get help processing that (or maybe not - if it's fading, then maybe it's processing naturally).

 

[Seasounds]

I think you are doing everything right. In fact, you've done so much!! Being able to let the experience lead to greater empowerment, by reclaiming more of yourself, from that earliest trauma will be and is being the gift

You made your experience known! And from his response to the on-line info, his action shows that you did have an impact. And you were able to let others be forewarned.

Quaks like him are a dime a dozen, one of which I found myself; so I truly empathisize with your pain. And it is not right that smucks like him know how to be unethical enough to be traumatizing to clients yet stay within the bounds of the professional protection from their peers.

The bad experience helped me make a better choice for my next therapist. I hope the same for you!

And just in case,
I don't know how it will be for you, but I found that my new therapist was more cooperative getting to my core issue rather processing about my old therapist. Leaving my old therapist out of the mix was helpful in establishing a new relationship.

You did good! Take care.

 

[Girlgirlgirl]

I think you are doing everything right. In fact, you've done so much!! Being able to let the experience...

yeah I like finding other people who have gone through a similar thing with a bad therapist also. thank-you; I never thought of the online thing that way-but yeah, I'm glad I have let him know how I feel about what he did & I'm glad what he did to me will not be erased in anyway... yeah, I'm going to process the original trauma that he traumatized me about with my new therapist tomorrow. I just want to move on from it; I really hope that the EMDR I do with the new therapist will make up for what he did to me. I am still crying about it; I last saw him in February-it is now August. I guess he didn't do it on purpose though... Idk, I hope I can move on from it still. Some people should not be therapists! So have you been able to move past what the other therapist did to you?

 

[Girlgirlgirl]

Thanks everyone for replies:) I know I'm a little bit of a cry baby about this whole thing (I've made lots of posts about it haha), but it has been very traumatizing for me and has honestly almost pushed me over the edge entirely. So I'll be a crybaby if it means I cope in a healthier way! I really hope that processing the original trauma will fix the trauma of having him as a therapist as well...

 

[Seasounds]

I don't think there are any crybabies here.

The pain of having a therapist break your heart is so painful, it is hard to get over. I couldn't get over the depression for, no that I think about it, really until I finally trusted my new therapist-so we are talking years.

One reason I find that it compounds the childhood trauma is because they are licensed, which gave me the hope that it was safe to trust and to care, reciprocate, and not have turned against me.

My loss of hope may have been equivalent to people who think that of all the people in the world that they can trust, is their priest or pastor. And if you can't trust a person who represents God, who can you trust?

It turns your life upside down, when it is already collapsing.

Regarding complaining to the second therapist about the first therapist; I really had a lot to dis process, and had to use some friends'ears.

Give yourself time.

I hate that I, or anyone with a psychological problem, just by the nature of the setup, walks into a therapist's office as the 'needy person'; if the therapist isn't exquisitely trained, it is so easy to exploit the patient, to support their own needs, of any kind.

Yes, thank you for helping me voice my sadness, as well. For some of us, the care or abuse of our therapist's, is the only (professional) form of a close connection we have; like for me, I'm building up the relational skills to tolerate a relationship.

I'm not saying patients have to be victims; I'm saying that patients need the education and support to leave, immediately, when their love and trust has not been respectfully treated, therapeutically.

To laugh a bit, my learning has evolved to: if my therapist says something I don't really like, I stand up and move around, and talk about my viewpoint. This is assertive and protective of myself. Moving around calms me down, and helps me to not freeze. And to the average therapist this seems very strange.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

No great words of wisdom @Girlgirlgirl however, I think you're showing a lot of courage and making good choices. Just sucks that these types of choices have to be made.

Cry all you want. It's one type of outlet. Also shows just how badly you've been hurt.

I think you're amazing, strong, courageous, sensitive and real! Hugs if you'll accept!