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Managing Ptsd By Changing Our Perception?
- Post starter Tinyflame
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- #14
What a fabulous post, Junebug. You put into words what I have been wrestling with for a long time. I rarely have "intrusive" thoughts about the abuse itself, but it feels to me like my body is still back in childhood. It is always on alert, and my brain automatically goes to the dark thoughts about myself and others. As a result, I am never really at rest. I don't have conscious flashbacks, but it's as if my unconscious mind and body are always in flashback. They, my unconscious mind and body, are not aware that things have changed and I am safe, so this affects my conscious perception. It takes very little to send me into an anxious state. I am just now learning, in the safety away from my ex husband, that things in life are good. I have a source of income, I'm back in school, I have two wonderful boys - one in college and one living full time with me, I have a wonderful partner, I have a wonderful family (two sisters and a dad) close by and great friends. But, I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Surely, something will go wrong, because I am bad and don't deserve good, and I am suspicious of situations and people. I feel sad that I live that way, because I know that other people's perception of me is that I am a warm, loving, open, honest person who loves to laugh. I feel like I have been curled up in this protective ball for 45 years, and am just now learning to unfold myself and, not only see all the wonderful people, things, and events occurring all around me, but participate with/in them.
Spero
Spero
- Post starter
- #16
Dear Spero3, that is because you are.
I hope you can allow yourself to fully enjoy what is now so right and good, not only because you deserve it but because it is so.
I think, too, we all (as people) have to wear a lot of masks, and sometimes- oftentimes- we want to, to not bring other's into our 'hell', so to speak.
But I think it's ok to recognize 'heaven', too.
((((Spero3)))), and peace to you.
- Post starter
- #18
- Post starter
- #19
Gee, I only saw this thread because of a current 'like' notification, and I hope it's ok to re-surface it and add a little bit.
I think living within much stress for a long time, though never thinking of it as such until now, has helped me to recognize that, for me, stress itself become the trigger for 'traumatic stress', that is memories and stress related to past trauma(s)- terror versus fear, horror vs apprehension, etc. So that, not only does the regular stress make the stress cup overflow, but it triggers the recall (and definitely symptomology) of past traumas. (Which I never thought of as being described as 'traumatically stressful', but now I know that describes it very well). And I believe that (the stress, itself) increases my awareness to triggers, and decreases my resilience to prevent acting (out) on them, or ability to get or keep grounded. Then, my brain tries to pick up the pieces and tries to explain the feelings away in the present. But it's the stress, itself, which is the key. Like regular stress triggers traumatic stress (past). I have been trying to remain aware of it, to do stress-reducing things when I notice my mood is changing, or I recognize Ihave been triggered, (a full-time job!), but I swear to God it's the key within this, or as regards so many problems or reducing what PTSD complicates. Because then, all of a sudden it's like the cognitive thoughts (negative ones, or questons, the feeings and attempts to reason them), vanish.
Similar to triggers are embers under the stress cup, and stress is gasoline. Sometimes the triggers get fanned, and catch afire, but they are relatively easy to put out. But if the stress cup overflows, boom, all possible forms of fall-out. But, if I am able to counter (reduce the stress), and ignore negative thoughts/ questions/ fear/ mistrust etc bothering me long enough for the stress to receed, the questions (and likely behaviours- negativity, mistrust, fleeing, self-harm, etc) disappear.
And it doesn't have to be solely by avoidance or withdrawl but active ways to counter or reduce stress. And of course, for everyone stressors and stress-reducers are different.
I think living within much stress for a long time, though never thinking of it as such until now, has helped me to recognize that, for me, stress itself become the trigger for 'traumatic stress', that is memories and stress related to past trauma(s)- terror versus fear, horror vs apprehension, etc. So that, not only does the regular stress make the stress cup overflow, but it triggers the recall (and definitely symptomology) of past traumas. (Which I never thought of as being described as 'traumatically stressful', but now I know that describes it very well). And I believe that (the stress, itself) increases my awareness to triggers, and decreases my resilience to prevent acting (out) on them, or ability to get or keep grounded. Then, my brain tries to pick up the pieces and tries to explain the feelings away in the present. But it's the stress, itself, which is the key. Like regular stress triggers traumatic stress (past). I have been trying to remain aware of it, to do stress-reducing things when I notice my mood is changing, or I recognize Ihave been triggered, (a full-time job!), but I swear to God it's the key within this, or as regards so many problems or reducing what PTSD complicates. Because then, all of a sudden it's like the cognitive thoughts (negative ones, or questons, the feeings and attempts to reason them), vanish.
Similar to triggers are embers under the stress cup, and stress is gasoline. Sometimes the triggers get fanned, and catch afire, but they are relatively easy to put out. But if the stress cup overflows, boom, all possible forms of fall-out. But, if I am able to counter (reduce the stress), and ignore negative thoughts/ questions/ fear/ mistrust etc bothering me long enough for the stress to receed, the questions (and likely behaviours- negativity, mistrust, fleeing, self-harm, etc) disappear.
And it doesn't have to be solely by avoidance or withdrawl but active ways to counter or reduce stress. And of course, for everyone stressors and stress-reducers are different.
Junebug,
I love your realisations at the start and your recent ones!. :)
And you express it well and I do find both true for me. I think I wrote a thread about exploring the possibility of the stress cup being filled being linked to all the PTSD stuff being triggered. It has helped me a huge amount to realise that.
Thanks for sharing! :)
I love your realisations at the start and your recent ones!. :)
And you express it well and I do find both true for me. I think I wrote a thread about exploring the possibility of the stress cup being filled being linked to all the PTSD stuff being triggered. It has helped me a huge amount to realise that.
Thanks for sharing! :)
- Post starter
- #21
Dear Abstract, thanks. I hope you can point me to your thread as I cannot find it with the search function. :(
I hope this is clear, as it is deceptively simple. I mean over and above the stress cup overflowing and setting off all the triggers (flashbacks and dissociation, nightmares and insomnia and hypervigilance etc, included), I think normal stress overwhelming the stress cup can cue back experiencing the type of stress we lived at the time of the traumas, and all that followed. That would also explain Trauma Re-enacment Syndrome, suicidality (if that followed for the individual), emotional flashbacks (so-termed), etc.
I think, people without ptsd can experience overwhelming stress. But I'm wondering if when people with ptsd do, that we (now) instead have a reaction whereby we 're-live' as it were the stress itself that involved the traumas (and hence the reminders and re-living, why we cannot 'get over it'). Not due to any fault of our own, but by it's nature what PTSD is- the defintion of it. And not a cognitive choice, but more like being catapulted back to that internal stress-environment. So understanding or identifying triggers and such, might be more like chasing symptoms while missing the cause- that is, ameliorating the stress dissolves much of the cognitive issues or fear or pain or 'reminders' without even trying to. That after so many years, the issues become not even the pain or traumas all specifically, but intead the inability of the mind, heart and body to process (current) stress, without risk of association back to the stress of the ptsd event(s). (Stress including exhaustion, pain, etc).
I hope this is clear, as it is deceptively simple. I mean over and above the stress cup overflowing and setting off all the triggers (flashbacks and dissociation, nightmares and insomnia and hypervigilance etc, included), I think normal stress overwhelming the stress cup can cue back experiencing the type of stress we lived at the time of the traumas, and all that followed. That would also explain Trauma Re-enacment Syndrome, suicidality (if that followed for the individual), emotional flashbacks (so-termed), etc.
I think, people without ptsd can experience overwhelming stress. But I'm wondering if when people with ptsd do, that we (now) instead have a reaction whereby we 're-live' as it were the stress itself that involved the traumas (and hence the reminders and re-living, why we cannot 'get over it'). Not due to any fault of our own, but by it's nature what PTSD is- the defintion of it. And not a cognitive choice, but more like being catapulted back to that internal stress-environment. So understanding or identifying triggers and such, might be more like chasing symptoms while missing the cause- that is, ameliorating the stress dissolves much of the cognitive issues or fear or pain or 'reminders' without even trying to. That after so many years, the issues become not even the pain or traumas all specifically, but intead the inability of the mind, heart and body to process (current) stress, without risk of association back to the stress of the ptsd event(s). (Stress including exhaustion, pain, etc).
Hi Junebug,
I do think we are more or less on the same page with this and I have been dealing with things accordingly and it seems to have helped. The only trouble is doing anything increases stressors which sets me off again and somehow I need to get to do enough to get back into therapy and get help to properly recover. So a bit trapped between a rock and a hard place at present.
Here is the the link: [DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/does-an-increase-in-stressors-a-fuller-cup-increase-flashbacks.28177/[/DLMURL]
I do think we are more or less on the same page with this and I have been dealing with things accordingly and it seems to have helped. The only trouble is doing anything increases stressors which sets me off again and somehow I need to get to do enough to get back into therapy and get help to properly recover. So a bit trapped between a rock and a hard place at present.
Here is the the link: [DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/does-an-increase-in-stressors-a-fuller-cup-increase-flashbacks.28177/[/DLMURL]
intothelight
Sponsor
Junebug,
I think you have hit upon something really important. Stress is like a snowball rolling down the hill, and the more stress the steeper the hill. The more a person perceives the stress or is susceptible to the negativity of it, the hill gets even steeper.
By reducing the amount of stress the hill flattens out, but sometimes there are stressors that can't be controlled. The using tools to keep perception and even personal susceptibility becomes critical. (For me susceptibility would be having enough sleep, because without it I am much more susceptible to the effects of stress.) These two can flatten the hill.
I guess that is what managing is all about, knowing our limits and what can help us to cope with stress in a healthy way. No one wants to be hit by a PTSD avalanche.
I think you have hit upon something really important. Stress is like a snowball rolling down the hill, and the more stress the steeper the hill. The more a person perceives the stress or is susceptible to the negativity of it, the hill gets even steeper.
By reducing the amount of stress the hill flattens out, but sometimes there are stressors that can't be controlled. The using tools to keep perception and even personal susceptibility becomes critical. (For me susceptibility would be having enough sleep, because without it I am much more susceptible to the effects of stress.) These two can flatten the hill.
I guess that is what managing is all about, knowing our limits and what can help us to cope with stress in a healthy way. No one wants to be hit by a PTSD avalanche.
- Post starter
- #24
Yes Deb, this is what I mean, frequently we can't control the stressors, but we have a say in the "anti-stresors". In the past I watched for triggers (stressors in themselves), or was (hyper)vigilant of them. Now instead I am trying to pay attention to my mood, thoughts (or more accurately 'feelings') and body; as soon as I feel pressure, alarm, despair or fear, or sense that' coming on, I think, "what is increasing my stress level?" It might be cold, or haven't eaten , or whatever. Even if I don't know 'what' it is, I will think"what do I probably need?", and make myself eat, or whatever. And all of the other cascade stops.
Dear Abstract, perhaps knowing the activity increases the stress, you can fore-arm yourself with ways to reduce it. Same with therapy, easy to see how every part could be stessful, from the commute to talking about anything. But, I think the beauty of it, is that reducing stress in general (rather than just trying to reduce the stress of a particular trigger), seems to potentially reduce that stress (or stressor) as well. And then things that were not possible then are. Granted however, you could establish trust with a therapist.
Perhaps 'our' perception changes naturally (in the moment), when/if daily stress can be kept at a manageable enough level to not trigger (or be equated to) the traumatic stress which was in the past? Perhaps that is the real reason the symptoms get a life of their own, or feel overwhelming. Also when we don't see them coming- sure we can identify stress, but it's not as easy to notice when that stress actually starts to mimic the stress we experienced during the trauma(s), itself. (I don't even recall that, or never acknowledged there was any). So we look (intuitively) for the triggers, and find plenty! But perhaps the symptoms and triggers are state-dependent, and the state is the feeling of traumatic stress we've experienced, triggered by what is just stress of daily living but then goes over the top or above that. Maybe that explains our severe reactions, severe fear. Maybe by reducing the stress before that happens we can increase the threshold of approaching stress-filled challenges (like therapy), and also manage but also reduce many symptoms.
Thank you, I will check the thread, will respond as soon as I can- for some reason very difficult to type - maybe my browser?
:hug:
Dear Abstract, perhaps knowing the activity increases the stress, you can fore-arm yourself with ways to reduce it. Same with therapy, easy to see how every part could be stessful, from the commute to talking about anything. But, I think the beauty of it, is that reducing stress in general (rather than just trying to reduce the stress of a particular trigger), seems to potentially reduce that stress (or stressor) as well. And then things that were not possible then are. Granted however, you could establish trust with a therapist.
Perhaps 'our' perception changes naturally (in the moment), when/if daily stress can be kept at a manageable enough level to not trigger (or be equated to) the traumatic stress which was in the past? Perhaps that is the real reason the symptoms get a life of their own, or feel overwhelming. Also when we don't see them coming- sure we can identify stress, but it's not as easy to notice when that stress actually starts to mimic the stress we experienced during the trauma(s), itself. (I don't even recall that, or never acknowledged there was any). So we look (intuitively) for the triggers, and find plenty! But perhaps the symptoms and triggers are state-dependent, and the state is the feeling of traumatic stress we've experienced, triggered by what is just stress of daily living but then goes over the top or above that. Maybe that explains our severe reactions, severe fear. Maybe by reducing the stress before that happens we can increase the threshold of approaching stress-filled challenges (like therapy), and also manage but also reduce many symptoms.
Thank you, I will check the thread, will respond as soon as I can- for some reason very difficult to type - maybe my browser?
:hug:
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