Manic Like Episode After Massive Trigger? Help!

[FindingMyself88]

Ok so I'may not bi polar and I've never ever had a manic episode. Not saying this is one, just some very similar features. Gonna try to keep this short as possible.

Starting from beginning. Wednesday I had therapy session. Now looking back we crammed wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too much into one 45 minute session. Normally my therapist is very cautious but maybe I shut down and didn't show how triggered I was? I don't know. Anyways we did some grounding and I left. I was massively triggered the rest of the day. Thank goodness I had my service dog with me. I mean it was bad... at one point on a walk in ended up on the ground with my back against a building crying and had my dog doing deep pressure therapy and on watch to alert me if someone approached.

No sleep, flashbacks all night and we stayed in hotel and there was some violence and cops called. Go home next day. No sleep that night. At all. Normally if I'm just afraid to sleep for nightmares I'll still lay in bed. I have severe health issues too and my body can't cope. Heck no! I was up all frigging night!

So I'm moving in 48 days. Huge deal very excited, new life, etc. I was coming up with so many plans etc. Cleaning, packing etc. Same has been all day. Also with my head injuries I can't normally text more than one friend at once... my friends were telling me to slow the heck down!

Oh and also last night I unfriended 120 friends from Facebook and some were people who WILL backlash and I've been TERRIFIED until now to do so. Very impulsive.

I also have had no appetite for 3 days. I talked to a bigger polar friend and aside from the grandiose thoughts she said a lot of this does sound like manic symptoms but it's stemming from the triggers.

I'm honestly terrified. I tried calling my therapist but she was out today so I emailed her. Sometimes she will check her emails at home. My body is KILLING me but my mind is so wound up. I don't know what is going on.

Also so many emotions and things coming up with the triggers.... I just came here to see if anyone else had ever experienced this.

 

[Whyteferret]

IMO, it's probably not bipolar. You were triggered. There was a ton of adrenaline in your system. Then triggered again by the police. Then the ongoing stress with moving. And brain injuries complicate things. Sounds more like heightened anxiety.

Have you tried talking to your friends one on one about your brain injury and that you need them to slow down for you?

 

[Friday]

Sounds like adrenaline / redirecting an anxiety attack to me... You were "just" mostly putting it to use, instead of melting down (granted meltdown early on), or shutting down, you were burning it off instead.

That's my single biggest PTSD-hack... (And is why the "just" is in rabbit-ears, because even doubt at all is huge, and mastering it life changing)... Burning off all the chemicals dumping into my bloodstream before they reach the level of my melting down or blowing up. Physical activities work best, but mental ones (like being social, planning, etc.) also work, just not as quickly.

There is definitely a wide grey area in my own life between effective management & meltdown/blowup... where I'm still putting my symptoms to use before they can knock me flat / burning off all the excess energy (effective management) but my cognition is affected pretty badly (not-effective-management). AKA I'm doing things faster than I should be, agreeing to things I shouldn't, racing thoughts, all spun up, etc.

I've got 2 options when that happens; slow things down or burn things off faster.

 

[FindingMyself88]

Definitely wasn't implying bi polar. Just saying it's a lot of manic symptoms. The two friends I've interacted with today know about my brain injuries very well and my ptsd and how both affect me and what my normals are and even what my not so normals are.

 

[FindingMyself88]

I just need my mind to shut down and it won't. I've even taken 2 Valium now and it won't. My body is in excruciating pain levels I haven't reached in a long time. Like this is going to set me SEVERELY back health wise.

 

[FindingMyself88]

Not just now but 2 total today. Sorry I'm not very coherent between pain and racing thoughts.

 

[Friday]

Yep... I would work on slowing things down, in that case. Aka Grounding, most basically. But also very deliberately slowing everything down. Breathing, movements, thinking (distract if thoughts can't be slowed down but are ass over tea kettle down the hill). Everything.

I'll use music I know the words to a lot of the time. I start off high tempo -aka where my mind is at- and sing along, which forces the tempo in my head to regulate to the music speed instead of dashes and whirling, then start backing off the tempo. Like moving from punk to hard rock to country to blues. If I'm cognizant enough I can set up a playlist ahead of time. If not? I just choose individual songs as I feel able to step it down a bit.

 

[FindingMyself88]

My normal grounding skills are out the window because they aren't working because my normal crisis response is totally different. Normally I'm self harming or curled up in the corner unable to move and frozen in fear and suicidal. This is so far out in left field I don't even feel like it's me.

I can't do breathing skills. Focusing on breathing for me causes panic. Normally playing with dogs but too much pain for that and that's just more excitement. I will try the music thing. I've also been writing a lot

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I have had a similar experience. I was badly triggered and oddly enough preparing to move. I don't think that has anything to do with it though but who knows. Parts of us might not take to change as easily.
What helps me is to tell myself out loud that I am grown and safe. Once I stop babbling long enough. My dog helps me ground. It also helped with the panic part to do some child activities. Find cartoons on YouTube that you liked as a child. I have some children's books too that I will read or listen to on audio. Coloring sometimes helps but I imagine you would have you own list of things. The body pain could be your bodies reaction to the flood of stress hormones. I know I was in very bad physical pain for weeks after. If you have any kind of braces for carpel tunnel, plantar fasciitis or a neck brace they might give you some relief. I used all three but still had to sleep sitting up, pillows propping under my arms and legs. It is wonderful that you have your dog. They bring great comfort.

 

[Justmehere]

I have been through something similar. Adrenaline can send the message: go, go, go, go....

I didn't have the grandiose thoughts, but I did have a "I can do this" kind of rush.

It's good if someone is running from a hungry tiger and needs to go, go, go. Not so helpful for every day life.

Anything you can do to ground and connect to each moment right now, is really important. It can help try to bring that rush down by showing your brain, in this present moment, no imminent threat of danger that the body needs to be this prepared to run from.

Try safe strong sensations. They can help kind of gently shock my body to be in the here and now. Holding ice cubes, eating spicy food, that kind of idea. Key thing: has to be safe. The best thing about this for me is that my mind doesn't have to be fully in it, but it can slow down that rush rush rush.

Since violence and the police have already been involved, and the Valium isn't working, it may also be worthwhile to call your doctor and give them a heads up what is happening for you.

 

[anthony]

I was massively triggered the rest of the day.

What triggers?

I talked to a bigger polar friend and aside from the grandiose thoughts she said a lot of this does sound like manic symptoms but it's stemming from the triggers.

Manic anything has nothing to do with bi-polar... PTSD symptoms can be manic. Manic means the symptoms where short and you got hospitalised as a consequence, OR, these symptoms have lasted beyond a week straight. Otherwise, you are not having manic anything.

Also so many emotions and things coming up with the triggers....

Like what?

 

[UnKnown-Self]

@Justmehere

Great suggestions. I did call my T even though I knew she would be gone for the day. I was in PHP and knew I would see her the next day and I also knew if I waited I might not say anything.

Another thing that helped was I tried writing down what was happening. Not consistently, of course but when I had a few seconds of .... Lucidity I guess is the word, I would scribble frantically because once these things pass it becomes foggy. You'd be surprised at what you write yourself, if you can even understand your scribble but there will be somethings worth while.