Mariage, job, issue

[somerandomguy]

You're always going to be able to find a reason to stay, you know.

 

[abbynormal1929]

You're always going to be able to find a reason to stay, you know.

Yes, I always have. None the less I'm gonna move forward once I talk to a lawyer about custody stuff.

 

[somerandomguy]

I'm gonna move forward once I talk to a lawyer about custody stuff.

Fantastic! Have you made an appointment yet?

 

[abbynormal1929]

Fantastic! Have you made an appointment yet?

I filled out an application for pro bono because I'm low income. A domestic violence center near by gave me the number for that. Supposedly they get back to you in 48 hours or so.

 

[somerandomguy]

Great - please keep us posted!

 

[Friday]

Good on :)

If she keeps you from seeing your child for 14 days, it can count against her in a major way. I kept my STBXH from seeing our son until the hearing (yep, 14 days later) and even though that was BECAUSE I’d taken out 11 restraining orders against him (5 on me, 5 on our son, 1 on the dog) and there was no question the reason I “denied access” was because a) domestic violence & b) the restraining orders issued by the court itself, I still got chewed out by the judge. My attorney asked if I should have broken the restraining orders in order to do so, and we got humphed at, the restraining orders on my son altered, and my ex given half custody on the spot. That my son was in the PICU from what his dad did to him? Apparently of no mind.

My story is super common. Even denying access with cause is frowned upon in a lot of states. Denying access with no cause? Grounds to lose your own custody.

Anything can be done “by agreement” (get it in writing, email or text) but if either parent yelps? The courts are like playing Russian roulette. Work closely with your attorney, but even better, get things done “by agreement”, and in writing.

 

[abbynormal1929]

Good on :)

If she keeps you from seeing your child for 14 days, it can count against her in a major way. I kept my STBXH from seeing our son until the hearing (yep, 14 days later) and even though that was BECAUSE I’d taken out 11 restraining orders against him (5 on me, 5 on our son, 1 on the dog) and there was no question the reason I “denied access” was because a) domestic violence & b) the restraining orders issued by the court itself, I still got chewed out by the judge. My attorney asked if I should have broken the restraining orders in order to do so, and we got humphed at, the restraining orders on my son altered, and my ex given half custody on the spot. That my son was in the PICU from what his dad did to him? Apparently of no mind.

My story is super common. Even denying access with cause is frowned upon in a lot of states. Denying access with no cause? Grounds to lose your own custody.

Anything can be done “by agreement” (get it in writing, email or text) but if either parent yelps? The courts are like playing Russian roulette. Work closely with your attorney, but even better, get things done “by agreement”, and in writing.

Good to know, thank you. Sry your experience went the way it did.

 

[abbynormal1929]

Hello,

Thought I'd let y'all know that I have an appointment with a lawyer Friday. I spoke with her over the phone, she didn't seem to think emotional abuse would hold much weight legally, but I was pretty much expecting that. I've been starting to feel more hopeless. I just wish I had someone that lived closer that I could talk to just for grounding. To remind me that I'm not crazy, and she is being abusive, and that I'm not the big jerk in all of this. Last night I went to sing with a chorus that I enjoy very much, and when I got back she said, with kind of accusatory overtones: "did you enjoy your time away from your family" this is something that is 3 hours door to door. And before I went she said to our 8 month old (not that he can understand the language yet, it was more directed towards me) "say bye, daddy's leaving us". I don't know how much more I can take. I just picture her making it extremely difficult for me to reside over the state line with my family, and have joint custody of our son. Also I worry about her using my psychiatric past against me. I know I'm catastrophizing. I just have trouble picturing myself actually leaving. Like how I would do it and all. She also made some kind of crack about me changing the pin on my phone and divorcing her. Anyway thanks again everyone for listening, and for the support. I hope to support other people on this page more soon.

 

[somerandomguy]

@abbynormal1929, glad you're lawyering up. You deserve to be happy. You deserve a non-abusive relationship.

We're always here to listen to you and support you.

 

[abbynormal1929]

Thanks. I want to return the support more. Everyone on this site has been do supportive and encouraging.