Cavegirl
Silver Member
I'm currently friends with a guy that was an Infantry Marine and was on the front line of the taking of Fallujah in 2004. He was stationed in Iraq three times during his 8 years he was enlisted. He tried to reenlist but couldn't for medical reasons. He is now on disability from the VA-various things, shoulder, traumatic brain injury, PTSD, I think other physical things I'm not exactly sure. I love this man. He is the kindest, funniest, strong, brutally honest, tall, handsome... He is everything I've ever wanted. We talk for hours at a time, one time for 10 hours on video chat. We stay up to 5 am when I visit talking. I've shared things with this man that I've never shared before. He is... Everything.
So, what's my problem? Well, he told me that he has some issues that he needs to work through before he can even think of getting into a relationship again. He was "a monster" to his ex wife, and though he is still friends with his ex gf, she lives out of state, he has told me that he has very unrealistic expectations for his partners. So we are friends with benefits. Actual friends. I told him I was starting to have feelings and it took him 3 days to tell me he didn't want a relationship with me. He said we'd stop the benefits because he didn't want to hurt me. I know he likes me. I know he's attracted to me. He told me he was afraid we'd date three months and that it would blow up and he wouldn't even have me as a friend. He told me once that I'm the type of woman that women pretend to be, I'm the real deal.
I decided that I'd take a chance and just be his friend. He is worth it. Even though I'm just his friend, his friendship means the world to me.
I've been reading stories of the war, and he talks to me about it sometimes. He's told me things that disgusted me, truly made me want to hide under the bed and cry. I just listen and let him share what he's able. He sleeps on the couch with an uncomfortable sleeping bag. He told me that it doesn't feel right if he sleeps in a nice comfy bed while he has brothers sleeping in the dirt.
I want to know what I can do to help him. I don't push. I don't judge. My dad has PTSD from his time in the military so I have told my Marine that I understand a bit of what he's dealing with and don't judge. I've also been there. I've been so lost that I had to have my mom do my grocery shopping and come do my dishes and gather up the garbage once a week. His kitchen is pretty dirty and I'd love to clean it for him but I don't want to offend him. When I told him about when I lost my shit he didn't judge me, didn't pity me or look at me like a victim... He told me he admired me, I didn't let it ruin me, I'm still here and I'm fighting. I recently went back to school.
I guess I just needed somewhere to vent this. I know it's for the best we're just friends right now. I've read through a lot of the stories on here and honestly they scared me. Scared me into being a bit happy he doesn't want to be with me right now. But I'd be lying if I didn't wish deep down we could be together some day. I got a book on the taking of Fallujah tonight and am waiting for it to get here. I just want to know what I can. I might get a book on dating someone with PTSD. I dunno. I feel lost.
So, what's my problem? Well, he told me that he has some issues that he needs to work through before he can even think of getting into a relationship again. He was "a monster" to his ex wife, and though he is still friends with his ex gf, she lives out of state, he has told me that he has very unrealistic expectations for his partners. So we are friends with benefits. Actual friends. I told him I was starting to have feelings and it took him 3 days to tell me he didn't want a relationship with me. He said we'd stop the benefits because he didn't want to hurt me. I know he likes me. I know he's attracted to me. He told me he was afraid we'd date three months and that it would blow up and he wouldn't even have me as a friend. He told me once that I'm the type of woman that women pretend to be, I'm the real deal.
I decided that I'd take a chance and just be his friend. He is worth it. Even though I'm just his friend, his friendship means the world to me.
I've been reading stories of the war, and he talks to me about it sometimes. He's told me things that disgusted me, truly made me want to hide under the bed and cry. I just listen and let him share what he's able. He sleeps on the couch with an uncomfortable sleeping bag. He told me that it doesn't feel right if he sleeps in a nice comfy bed while he has brothers sleeping in the dirt.
I want to know what I can do to help him. I don't push. I don't judge. My dad has PTSD from his time in the military so I have told my Marine that I understand a bit of what he's dealing with and don't judge. I've also been there. I've been so lost that I had to have my mom do my grocery shopping and come do my dishes and gather up the garbage once a week. His kitchen is pretty dirty and I'd love to clean it for him but I don't want to offend him. When I told him about when I lost my shit he didn't judge me, didn't pity me or look at me like a victim... He told me he admired me, I didn't let it ruin me, I'm still here and I'm fighting. I recently went back to school.
I guess I just needed somewhere to vent this. I know it's for the best we're just friends right now. I've read through a lot of the stories on here and honestly they scared me. Scared me into being a bit happy he doesn't want to be with me right now. But I'd be lying if I didn't wish deep down we could be together some day. I got a book on the taking of Fallujah tonight and am waiting for it to get here. I just want to know what I can. I might get a book on dating someone with PTSD. I dunno. I feel lost.
