Relationship Marine Vet With Ptsd Saying Hurtful Things. Is He Telling The Truth?

[Sarah_1990]

I need A LOT of feedback right now because I am kind of freaking out.

I am SOOO afraid that I have lost him forever... I feel like he will never come around again.
He downright texted me "I am not in love with you anymore. You need to move on. It didnt work. It happens, Im sorry."

Isnt that the end of it? Do I walk away? I dont want to, but I dont know if he means that or not.

When I saw him one week ago, I saw the passion in his eyes, and he held me so tight.

When we kissed, he said "Im really trying to fight the willpower." And he said he did not want me in the arms of another man but he wanted me to be happy.

I am just trying so hard to understand what he is doing, but none of it makes sense.

I just really need to know if ANYONE has said ANY of those things and ended up going back to their ex or what not... And how long did it take.

What was helpful in taking the steps to get help?

Im truly at a loss... And I cant stop crying for some reason.

 

[Fart Smella]

Hi Sarah.

As I'm just starting on my journey to wellness and understanding PTSD, I really can only oferf you one bit of advice - Be careful not to let your heartbreak allow you to do something that you normally wouldn't ... stay safe.

Be assured that people will read your post and may decide to offer opinions, hopes and some honest feedback.

All the very best of luck ...

Al

 

[Livy's Mom]

Hi Sarah. I have been down this road several times and am going through it again as we speak.

I will offer you a few things from my own experiences.

First this forum is the perfect place for you to be but please be prepared to hear honest feedback. I am new here and have learned that there are people here who have walked many many miles through the fog of PTSD and they absolutely do know what they are talking about. You might find yourself saying "we'll they don't know him" but I assure you they have seen it all! So try to keep an open mind and an open heart :)

As far as your question goes... In my situation he comes and goes. He typically leaves using some reason that seems minuscule to me and stays gone for anywhere from a few days to up to a month (that's the longest so far).

In my inexperience with PTSD I had tried every method under the sun to get him to come back. They all were ineffective and made things worse. All you can do is let him be and focus on yourself.

I know that advice is frustrating. I felt frustrated when I heard it but I promise you it is the best advice.

Focusing on your own happiness is the only way.

I wish you well :)

 

[discarded]

Hi Sarah and welcome. This is a really tough question you have asked and there is no one answer. If he comes back there is more than likely going to be times when he does it again and again. You need to decide if you are willing to put yourself out there for the emotional roller coaster ride that PTSD can bring. You need to take of yourself first and not be a door mat to be taken advantage of.

 

[lisalisa46410]

Sarah - Going through the same thing except he says he loves but is afraid I will be even more emotionally hurt down the road if we stay together than if we ended things now. I've left him alone for a few days and he's texted a few times. So hard.

What I have decided is I cannot lose myself in his illness.