Medical Medical Trauma In Childhood

[Fadeaway]

I guess you could say I had medical trauma as a child be certainly never thought of it that way.

I was sewn up after being raped when i was two. I was wide awake and no anesthesia for that. They just held me down and did a piss poor job of stitching me up. I get they had to stop the bleeding, but I remember every last detail of that e.r. room and the Dr.s face, but nothing of the actual rape.

I also had scarlet/rheumatic fever when I was 7 and developed complications. Had the ice baths due to a persistent 105 temp. It sucked but i never thought of it as being traumatic but I had the cold. I was definitely different after, but to the point of being traumatized? I am not sure.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

@mumfie

1) Which medical illness/accident/medical procedures did you have?
I had an abortion done by a doctor who was a pedophile. He had raped me earlier that summer.

2) How old were you?
I was 10 years old.

3) Which symptoms did you get mentally after this?
As an adult I had nightmares for years and years about being bloody between my legs and seeing something black and red coming out of me. Yet I had absolutely no memory of the abortion. It took until I was 62 to finally accept that the abortion was real because during that year the nightmares became realistic, as if they were occurring the moment they awakened me.

4) Did you get a diagnose(s) after this? If yes, which?
Nothing after the medical procedure. I started therapy for the first time when I turned 26. I never received a diagnosis. I had symptoms such as panic attacks and anxiety after returning from a vacation on the East Coast where the abortion had occurred. I could barely function in my classes at a specialty school I was attending. I was directed to see a school counselor where I promptly broke down and cried for three weeks straight. I saw the counselor for three years. I still had no memory of the abortion.

5) Which treatment worked?
I relied mostly on retelling my story through art, writing, journaling, play therapy, and cognitive therapy.

In 1989, I first recalled the memory in therapy and nightmares. The therapist became pushy and wanted me to "hurry up and get over it," telling me I should do a mock burial of the aborted baby. It was bizarre to say the least. Of course this back-fired on her and me, causing a decline in my trust for her and the therapeutic process. I soon left her to seek out a new therapist. I never really dealt with it again until 2011. And then finally amid a slew of new more vivid memories and nightmares of the abortion, I dealt with it fully in 2015 through journaling and writing and talking about it.

6) Other things?
The abortion was only a portion of the abuse I suffered during my 10th year. I got pregnant by a gang rape of black men and teenagers in the basement of a bar. That same summer I witnessed several murders. I'm certain that's why I blocked the whole summer where I turned 10.

 

[walter mitty]

1) Which medical illness/accident/medical prosedures did you have?
Was diagnosed with Pyloric Stenosis after a week of inability to digest any milk or formula. Required upper abdominal surgery to repair. Was operated on without anesthesia or any pain meds, was only given a paralytic and a breathing tube, was awake during entire procedure. Then 6 hours after procedure, paralytic wore off and writhing in pain i ripped the entire incision open and had to go back and be stapled closed a second time. Awake and without meds then too.

2) How old were you?
i was 6 weeks old, March 1957

3) Which symptoms did you get mentally after this?
Overt symptoms really started around age 5 but did not know why or where they came from for a while. Lots of fear and terror. Lack of trust in anyone, especially parents and medical people. Insomnia from fear of dreaming, Hypersensitivity and need to control conversations and actions around me. Long list of triggering words and situations. Felt an URGENT need to hide secret from EVERYONE. Lots of bizarre and intensely scary mental imagery, vicious anger with no outlet. Exhausted and suicidal by age 12.

4) Did you get a diagnose(s) after this? If yes, which?
Never officially diagnosed. 20+ years ago I attempted to explain it twice to two different mental health pros, was laughed at twice. Children of that era were not considered mentally ill unless they need total incarceration in a mental ward. PTSD was not even a diagnosis until I was 30 or so, and not routinely accepted until i was mid 40s.

5) Which treatment work?
By the age of 10, i had gotten pretty good at anxiety control, disassociation, lucid dreaming, and breathing management. Learned them by trail and error as survival techniques.

6) Other things?
It has been a 40 year investigation to piece together what really happened. The w/o anesthesia part was the final piece of the puzzle, and I was in total denial about that for a year or so before realizing it answered so many unknowns, it had to be the final piece of the puzzle. So much more i could say, but rather than write a book, i invite anyone really interested to let me know, and we can talk at length in a bit more safety and privacy.

 

[walter mitty]

1) Which medical illness/accident/medical prosedures did you have?
I was hospitalized for a few...

The secrecy was a HUGE feature for me, and still is to a degree. It took 35 years of severe symptoms before I spoke a word about it to anyone. Never figured out why hiding was so important. Did you?

 

[foreveralone2099]

do you guys feel that medical trauma is easier to accept when there isn't also the social factor involved? things like cancer are bad luck but rape + abortion??!! that's someone else's purposeful cruelty.

i had chronic fatigue for years which was AWFUL but the worst part was people telling me that i could cure myself with my thoughts. i got really antisocial (not asocial antisocial) listening to people tell me i was lazy, starvation would make me into a harder worker, that social services should go to old people or those who had a diagnosable disease.

the abandonment was the worst part really.

i feel really bad for the people who still have complications after their severe and traumatizing medical events... it'll always be with you. when i was sick i had this sense of no, or at least a very foreshortened future. it's hard to realign oneself to being a full adult, but i wouldn't want to go back for anything.

 

[Mit]

I've read your post several times in an attempt to understand your question and perspective.

Personally I do not think my own traumas, resulting from medical treatments, equate to the trauma suffered by survivors of sexual and violent abuse. I know it is wrong to make comparisons but I can't help it, and victims of rape, sexual abuse at any age, violence, torture and so on are off the scale, and my experiences are nowhere near as bad.

However I struggle to accept and really believe that I have suffered a trauma, and that is simply because most of what was done to me was genuinely 'for my own good'. It was not intended to harm me. The lack of harmful intent (lets call it misguided and ill conceived treatments) has created within me a conflict and confusion. There is no 'helpline' about to be set up for me, because the trauma wasn't intentional (for the most part....).

 

[walter mitty]

I've read your post several times in an attempt to understand your question and perspective.

Personally I...

i totally get your point, and believe me I shared your view for a long time. I called myself a wimp, and thought about how the medical intervention saved my life, and why am I hurting so and not grateful, and on and on. But by the time I was old enough to use logic to try understand, i had spent so many years freaked out, terrorized, angry, and out of control that it was a huge part of me. I was angry with God and everyone and honestly believed i should have died to avoid all this, i wanted to die before suffering more, i was suicidal at age 10.

I know it is stupid thinking, but a envy some of the people here who had significant, horrible traumas in their teens...just because they had some good times to reflect back on. I have difficulty remembering ever enjoying myself or feeling the simplest joy for an hour....and I am 60 years old. So I do give myself permission to whine a little now, to accept the depth of my hurt, and not try and rationalize or minimize what impact it had on me. I gotta OWN it if I am ever going to CHANGE it.

 

[badfoxcat]

1) Which medical illness/accident/medical procedures did you have - IVP -intravenous pyelogram (IVP) in 1973, involving dangerous radio active injection
2) How old were you - SIX YEARS OLD
3) Which symptoms did you get mentally after this - fear of doctors, disgust of gyne-anything, anxiety, avoidance of any medical below the waist
4) Did you get a diagnose(s) after this? If yes, which? NO - all results showed no problem
5) Which treatment work? NO - it possibly left me physically as we ll as mentally damaged for life
6) Other things?


MY recollection is - I was held down by nurses on a bed naked from the waist down with my legs held apart. I was crying pleading screaming and sweating. The pain of being catheterized was intense, then they filled my bladder. I was nthen injected in my arm with Barium that made m vomit violently. THen , catheter still in place I ahd to lie on my side on an xray bed and had to urinate on command as they took pictures. The mental scars have never left me .. Im 50 next year. The horror was tantamount to rape. will never be over it. No sedation at all. I cant believe that ever was allowed. this was the NHS in the South West in the 70's.... like I was a piece of meat to experiment on

 

[Renegade26]

Hello @mumfie welcome to the forum.
As a child I has kidney reflux from age 6-...

Hi, I am so sorry that you experienced this. That's horrible.

I want to affirm you and validate your experience. I when through the exact same thing. It happened only once, but it was the one of the worst experiences of my life. There were 4 men and women. I was 7 and they had me there for 2 hours. It's removed from my medical records, which is the worst part. I lived with it as a secret for about 11 years until finally I had a space to talk about it. Please feel free to contact me if you ever need support.

 

[Unknown Victim]

1) Which medical illness/accident/medical prosedures did you have?
At first, the doctors didn't know what I had, "told my parents all my head". After 2 months of throwing up, my appendix exploded. The surgery was an experimental. Just say I had a button on my skin and open wound. My greatest neighbor told every I was contagious with some disease. I was isolated from the neighborhood.

2) How old were you?
4 years old.

3) Which symptoms did you get mentally after this?
I recall sleep paralysis. I went to my sisters around 5 or 6 years for a sleep over bad dreams with demons, and they seemed real.

4) Did you get a diagnose(s) after this? If yes, which?
No. I told no one. I had no trust in life raised myself up. Brothers didn't protect, but they were children raising themselves. My brother tired to hang me around 5. Another of my great loving neighbor tired to hang around 8. I had a feeling that I wound kill myself by hanging.
I got diagnose around 47 years old, homeless and penniless.

5) Which treatment work?
N/A

6) Other things?

My childhood sucked. I liked being homeless better.

 

[u_caz]

Hello @mumfie welcome to the forum.
As a child I has kidney reflux from age 6-...

Oh my goodness, this happened to me too. I was 6...being poked, prodded and catheterised until I had a massive operation to fix everything at the age of 13. Now I am 30, still battling with PTSD. Just started CBT therapy - I hope it works this time!

On a side note, I have never spoken to someone who went through the same thing as me, so it made my heart skip a beat when I read this post. Finally, I realise that I am not alone. So thank you for sharing your story!

 

[Deleted member 44252]

My child has the problem of listening and he can not listen so what will be the cure of this problem?