Meeting New People And The Dreaded "so What Do You Do For A Living?" Question

[Nicolette]

You miss my point ....some of these people I sit & work with all day....do I be rude & say " none of your business why my husband is retired at such an early age" or is it better to say "he builds websites" & get no further questions?

 

[Jimmy1]

Thats cool for you Nikki. Thats actually a great response but I think what Mockingbird is trying to say is that it would be good for people like me. What do I do all day. Prepare and evening meal for my bigger family now.
After surgery it will be obvious that I cannot work for a while. But what am I going to say once I have recovered?
What am I going to say once I can run again and mow the lawn? I will be physically fit again, but not mentally..

Jimmy

 

[Nicolette]

So what will your fiancé tell people Jimmy?

I'm not disagreeing but sharing the experience when the shoe is on the other foot.


One of the reasons I say little on this site is I feel if I have a different opinion it is not, at times, taken on board as simply that.

 

[Jimmy1]

Your opinion is always welcome Nikki. It's all part of this macho male thing and the discipline instilled by the military. I hate not being able to not work. And when people ask why I am retired, if I say I have PTSD, most who are ignorant ask what it is. I wish I could say I build websites, but I am not as talented as that.

To them a lot of us look like normal every day people. Its like why I have a disabled sticker on my car. Yes, in a few weeks when I am allowed to drive, I will need it, but I just can't handle explaining myself.

Maybe once my back has recovered I can find something I am good at.

 

[The Hermit King]

Nicolette I completely feel where you are coming from. My girlfriend works with a large group and they are all women. I really get more stressed about people talking shit about "what her man does" for a living than I do about people directly asking me. They love to talk behind each others back up there and I just didn't want them judging her because of me. She is a bit naive when it comes to dealing with PTSD and the snap judgements people make about it, she has just been telling people I'm retired Army and so far has been lucky enough to not get any further questions. I was pretty much looking for a simple good answer to shut them up as well as one I could give to inquiring minds. I also don't want to have to tell an outright lie, I'm weird I guess but I really hate lying about anything. So I think I'll look into web design and see if I can take a course or something so that I can use that response and at least half assed know what I'm talking about if pressed on the matter. If I were older I wouldn't really give a shit as much as I do but I am only 29 and I am a recluse who works out like a demon everyday so Its immediately apparent as soon as someone sees me that I have zero physical issues. So anything "medical" related, like saying I'm medically retired would prompt more questions right away and saying I'm just outright retired won't work because people are like, "Uh you did 20 years in the Army?" What, did you enlist in the third grade!? So if I learn a little about web design I can not only have my GF say that's what I do at home all day but also nosey neighbors, and even people that ask my mother or father what there son does will have an answer that will satisfy their curiosity.

So don't feel like your opinion isn't welcome on this forum because I appreciate your input as well as everyone else who took the time to offer any advice. I had no one to talk to about stuff like this before I found this forum. So thanks.

 

[Ladyhope Somerset]

My 2 pennyworth on this subject is that there should be no guilt or shame in being retired. I know, I know, I can hear you saying "it's easy for you sitting there as a supporter". Yeah I do hear you.
And it does take time and effort to adjust thinking and overcome the loss of the job/the role/rank. When you begin to accept you are no lesser a person for being retired and focus that negative energy into something productive wow that's an achievement.

Shooting from the hip tonight. Hope this doesn't upset anyone.

 

[Redheaded Stranger]

If my boyfriend were unable to work due to PTSD, and someone asked me what he does, I'd just tell them he served our country for almost 2 decades and now he is now my beast in the bedroom and far, far too exhausted to do anything other than dream up new ways to satisfy me.......;)

 

[Londonacquisition]

I know what you mean. For me I created a alternate personal. A part of me that is te most stable. It is extremely hard specially since operatives have gone up to people and told them perosnal information about me. In this persona I tell people I meet that I am a private logistic clnsultant. It is angood conversation starter. Even thing I am insane with many spisical problems I still want to have asocial life. This is very hard as all of you know. You know for pe it is very important to me to keep at least 2 worlds of me. The first one is the lne that I only want my mediacl providers should know about. This is vey hard because there is no doctor patient confedentiality. And tonmake thing s worse I have the anxiety problems and so on in public places. The second world is the side of me te one I strongly walt people in my life specially new people like girls I meet to see. The stabled me. In UbH I learned that very mind is different I also learned that as someone with PTSD needs to improvise. Yes that means lying to people. I hate the fact that operatives talk tonly family and fiends . That is why %99 of them gave just stopes talk to me. This type of adaption has worked for me. But life just gets harder because o the operatives. Next year I will go to Spain madrid. I have family there that my operatives wil never know about. Those guys dont trust most people. So I know Incan trust tem. I am thinking about Learning Spanish there. I mean true Spanish from a spaniard. Plus I thin gild from spain Are gorgeous.