Melted And Told My Supervisor. Feel Better In A Way.

[OKRADLAK]

My work performance has been so eratic and i SO want this job that I caved in and did what I said I would never do..........I told my supervisor. I said that I have neuro problems, and could not specify the PTSD. I have so many neuro troubles that I thought that would be a safe compromise.

I told him that I thought it only fair to him that if I quit or start to function very poorly, it is because I am having some neur troubles which are effecting my true abilities.

I told him I was thinking of quitting and he said,

"OKRAD (he used my name of course), you are very gifted in this work and I see a lot of potential for you to move up. Don't quit before you move up at least! Tell me how I can help you....."

He was SO encouraging that I did not quit.

I am actually VERY GLAD I told someone......I just could not take the tears and no one knowing why.

No tears today.

I feel very strange. It feels strange that someone sees potential in me.

I still feel a sense of shame, though, that I have this problem and when someone knows I feel so vulnerable. I mean, I AM vulnerable, but now he knows.

I KNOW he will not tell anyone.

Now I have to just act like normal and not all embarassed.....has anyone been able to do that?

Well, that is the latest.

 

[Muzikluvr]

I think it's wonderful that you've been able to confide in your supervisor! I'm so glad to hear he was supportive. What a great step in the right direction, Okradlak! Good for you!

 

[pi314159]

I was crying uncontrollably at work, I wasn't sleeping so I couldn't concentrate and I couldn't stop my intrusive/obsessive thoughts so I decided I had to tell my boss about my PTSD.

He was so wonderful and encouraging. He said he will support me in any way he can and he is constantly making sure I'm ok and telling me to be strong.

I have the best boss in the world. It's amazing how much support from someone who doesn't really need to care helps you.

I'm glad your supervisor reacted so positively.

 

[OKRADLAK]

I was crying uncontrollably at work, I wasn't sleeping so I couldn't concentrate and I couldn't stop my intrusive/obsessive thoughts so I decided I had to tell my boss about my PTSD.
.

Good for you for actually being able to say it ! I could not say the words, so I went with the default, even though I know in my case it has turned into Neuro.......

 

[TigerPride]

Good Job Okradlak!!! :D

Glad you talked to your supervisor, & that he responded so positvely! I'm proud of you!!

 

[IvyMillie]

It's great when people are so kind. I'm glad that he was so supportive. Even though people don't understand all of it, it's nice that they are supportive. It was nice that he sees potential in you. When people think the best of you--it always makes you work harder. :) Hope it continues to go well for you.

 

[LilacFaerie]

He was SO encouraging that I did not quit. No tears today.

This is wonderful - it makes me feel there is hope for me. Maybe I should also sit my boss down and talk about what's going on in my life. I don't want him to think I've turned incompetent or apathetic....it's just that everything has hit at once and I lost my grip on reality today.

I must believe that tomorrow will be better, and after reading your post, I feel encouraged. Thank you.

 

[OKRADLAK]

It was scary and I have not seem him since. I won't see him Mon but he will be there Tues.

I am afraid I may be embarassed around him now, or that I will get all vulnerable and pathetic around him now.

I have a very hard time with my demeanor around people because at home I really stare and move around and figdet and all PTSD oddities that when I go out it is such a struggle that I have to act act act.

So when someone knows, I am totally at a loss as to how to act!

Now he know and I have to make SURE that he does not think I feel sorry for myself or want him to.

I can see why people pirece and stuff, to make sure they do NOT look vulnerable and act that way. I hate it when people think you want them to feel sorry for you. Someone told me that once and I had to lay a stream of F bombs on him. He deserved it.

 

[pi314159]

By reaching out to your supervisor you were seeking understanding and providing an explanation - not asking someone to feel sorry for you. What you did was brave and positive. As you said - he was encouraging.He obviously values you and your work. Be proud of yourself having the courage to speak out and for having so much potential at work. :D

 

[Srain]

When I was first hit by the symptoms while working my dream job I had finally landed, I had a talk with my Manager, it was obvious things were bad but I had come into the job hearing things and going through a lot, however he saw things in me that only made me feel more confident, he made me Employee of the Month the very first month I was there! I can't tell you how I felt, having spent soooo many times crying in the bathroom, trying to pull it together. He and the other staff members were there for me. I understand doing this, it seemed only fair and what I got in return was amazing.

You have talent and Pi is right, be proud of yourself :) ((((((((hugs))))))))))

peace,
Rain (but not too much ;) )

 

[PTSD sufferer]

Okradlak,

What a wonderful response to receive from your manager! Your boss obviously knows your talents and is prepared to help you do well. I am so happy to hear that he responded the way he did! And, I am so proud that you spoke to him, otherwise you may never have known how highly he thinks of you!

When you see him next, hold your head up high, and work it baby!!!! Remember he said it:

"OKRAD (he used my name of course), you are very gifted in this work and I see a lot of potential for you to move up. Don't quit before you move up at least! "

You are gifted, you have potential, he wants to develop you, he sees you having a positive future in the company. That is something that shouldn't make you (in my opinion) feel vulnerable, that should make you feel very proud and empowered because that is ALL YOU BABY! ;)

If I could go back to work one day, I can only hope that a manager would give me such lovely compliments too!

 

[Sazza]

Way to go, this is a big step in ackowledging that its ok for people to know as and when you feel comfortable with it. I am glad your supervisor appears supported, i am like you when people know i feel awkward about how to act etc. Like you said your supervisor will not tell anyone and believes in your potential so just remember that.

This is a positive move as your boss is now aware and can support you from a work perspective which is surely a good thing.