"member Rights" Drove Me Away...

[Toni]

...before I even started. I registered because I thought I would find a friendly, supportive community, but after reading that mean-spirited page I'm outa here. Yes, I know that page was written by one cranky individual and doesn't represent the overall spirit of the community. But that one person obviously is an administrator or something like that, and if that page remains in place to greet new members with undeserved nastiness then it has to be approved of by others, at least tacitly. That page hit me on a pretty vulnerable day. Not a good way to start, so no thank you.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Toni,

Wishing you well on your journey, wherever it takes you.

May you find healing and peace.

This forum, in it's entirety, has brought me profound support, wisdom, friendship, amd wisdom. I've learned something about recovery - and myself - in everything here, even when I didn't agree or care for it.

Thankfully, it's an opt-in system, so anytime I want to pick up my misery and have it refunded, I can.

But I've chosen to 'take what I like and leave the rest.'

I'm so glad I did. But each is free to experience their own path.

Should you decide to stay, you might be surprised by what you find.

Warmest Wishes,
BloomInWinter

 

[Deleted member 1860]

IMHO, Anthony stated the truth. It's the same on any such website, even if it's not stated as such.

Yes, this website is more heavily moderated than many, with stricter rules, but overall it's a good place to be.

If you find a better PTSD forum, all the power to you. I've been to quite a few others and none were nearly as good.

I wish you the best...

 

[BloomInWinter]

LOL...I said 'Wisdom' twice! Doh!

 

[Srain]

I think it's all in the eye of the beholder. I find this sight fairly open to opinions and debates, allowing members to work out their issues actually quite openly.

If the Rules aren't stated warm and fuzzy then they are clear and without compromise. I believe the membership count and the content should be enough to show just what an exceptional forum this is.

I wish you well and the door is always open. We each have to find our path, some days I am better at seeing the view than others.

Take good care,
Peace,
Rain

 

[anthony]

Yes, I know that page was written by one cranky individual and doesn't represent the overall spirit of the community. But that one person obviously is an administrator or something like that, and if that page remains in place to greet new members with undeserved nastiness then it has to be approved of by others, at least tacitly.

I don't apologize for being blunt in writing that page, because I mean every single word of it. There is zero hostility in it, it is simply short, sharp and direct to the point, removing any possible confusion from wording it with tact. Tact can be misinterpreted, directness cannot... hence the difference of purpose to be achieved.

If I come to your website, I have no rights other than those you grant me to participate upon it. No different than if I come to your home... I visit by your rules, not mine. Very simple, direct and to the point.

A smoker lights up in your home, being a non-smoker:

Tact: Do you mind taking that outside please?

That is open to interpretation of the respondent now, being they could say, "yes, I do mind, and am quite comfortable smoking here" or they could say read the pleasantry in the tactful nature, and respond "no, not at all... sorry about that."

Direct: There is no smoking in our home, please take that outside now.

There is zero interpretation in that statement. There is NO smoking in our home, take outside NOW!

Experience running a mental health website, tact is the last thing you want to use, because it insights constant questioning from the thousands of personalities, some who read the tact, some who choose to ignore it and accept another option is present, some who simply can't read tact period.

Hope that answers the question... which again, is raised here just about every time the moon is full, being today.

 

[EloiseLandau]

I'm not quite sure what the point is in saying someone is mean, and then running off.... isn't it generally better to ask "why is it this way?" instead of ascribing intent?
Wait, did I use "ascribe" correctly?

 

[anthony]

I'm not quite sure what the point is in saying someone is mean, and then running off.... isn't it generally better to ask "why is it this way?" instead of ascribing intent?

Hence my reason for citing "trolling" without implication at this point. As that is what trolling is. Someone drops by, posts something to upset / cause controversy, then they run away to let shit fly. Again, my citing it without implication at this point... yet to be determined as the intent or their feelings as being legitimate.

 

[EloiseLandau]

I don't know. I haven't been here that long and I've already found it invaluable and the rules are easy and unmistakable. No issues here. It's like going through an hour of training so you can enjoy the rest of park.

 

[Barberian]

To be perfectly honest I didn't read the members rights page. I skimmed it at best. It's all common sense really. Same thing you will find at any well maintained/moderated website. Behave yourself, respect others, owner maintains all rights, etc...

 

[Srain]

Hope that answers the question... which again, is raised here just about every time the moon is full, being today.

It is that time of the month of again hmmm :whistling:...

 

[Zef]

I liked the directness of the rules. It made me think. It made me think about restraining my gallows humor. It made me think about restraining some of the things I would say because I could trigger and harm others.

My opinion, a PTSD site needs to have strict rules and needs to have mods that both care about the people on the board and strong enough to show it when the people are potentially exposed to dangerous triggering content.

In short, thank you all.