Memories Of The Past Haunting Me

[Reds]

We'll it is my first time writing, I've been in therapy for about 6months for childhood sexual abuse. It has been going well until the day my therapist hypnotized me. I started remembering things I prefer not to remember. Since then I am really sick, fighting with everyone and spending time hiding away in my room. I am now anxious and afraid that my therapist hates me and thinks I am dirty. I think she does not want to see me anymore.

 

[cherryblossom]

Did you know she was going to hypnotise you?

 

[macca]

Oh Reds I'm so sorry that has happened to you. Those feelings of shame etc seem to be associated with the trauma. Since all this was activated big-time in-session, could those feelings have become directed at the therapist? I'm not sure she should have used hypnosis. Had your relationship with the therapist been ok previously?

 

[Reds]

Yeah I knew she was going to hypnotize me but my impression was that it'd to get me to relax like she did previously. I didn't expect to be taken back to that scary place.

My relationship with the therapist is good just that at times she struggles to get me to open up so I think hypnosis was a way for her to get me talking.

 

[macca]

Sounds like you felt a bit ambushed, and that she didn't realise she was opening Pandora's box. If you have gone well together before, maybe talk to her about how it affected you, how you were not expecting it and explain the aftermath. Your fears relating to her opinion of you sound like what they call "transference" which is when we project emotions from our traumas onto the therapist (not intentionally, just how it works). I've had something similar to a smaller degree, where I reacted to my T as though she were invalidating my experiences like my family did. I hope the aftermath is easing up for you.