Mental Health Assessment-really Scared!

[Ice_Fire]

My GP referred me for an assessment. She's put me on Citalopram, which I've been on for about a month now...can't really tell if it's made any difference. She thinks I might have PTSD...from what I then Googled, I think that is a no-brainer.

Anyway, I had an over the phone mini assessment about 2 weeks ago and now I'm going to have a proper one on Monday afternoon. I don't know what to expect, they're coming round to my flat, which I find a bit intrusive to be honest. Can anyone from the UK who's had such an assessment please give me any information on what to expect?

I'm scared they'll either chuck me in the loony bin or they'll dismiss me as not having a serious enough problem

 

[Lucycat]

Well done for starting the thread.

I too am on Citalopram - I started it in January and found it took quite some time before I could see it had made any difference.

I am in the UK. My first assessment was with a Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) who came to the house. Since then he has become my therapist and I see him regularly - always in my home.

It really was not so hard. I told him 'my story'. As I was 'in crisis' at the time I thought I was going mad. The whole world seemed to be crumbling around me and I could not make any sense of it all. I found it hard to tell him what I was feeling, because emotions and feelings made no sense to me. However that in itself told him a lot. He was very kind and gentle and did not make me say any details that I found disturbing. Just an outline really.I cried a lot, but that did not worry him, and he helped me not to be embarrassed by saying tissues are a standard part of his equipment!

He did ask me to fill in a questionnaire - I can't remember the details of it, but it was simple. I did not have to do it there and then, but handed it to him at the next appointment a few days later.

I too thought I was either going in hospital because I was mad, or because I could not be that crazy over a trivial issue. I later found out that it is classic of sex abuse and PTSD to believe that your own problem is not bad enough to cause the problems you are suffering. Everybody else's horror stories seem far worse than your own. That's just your brain trying to make sense of the situation. I found when the CPN suggested PTSD to me it made perfect sense and was a weight of my shoulders - a reason for what was going on.

My CPN works closely with a psychiatrist who has a special interest in PTSD so much later I had an appointment to see him at the hospital. By then the initial assessment was done so that was entirely different.

I am sure nothing I write - or anybody else puts- will completely take away your fear. It is only natural. But try to see the positives in this. You are going to have an assessment to see what form of therapy is likely to make you feel better. It is not all about the diagnosis, although I know it feels like that .

Try to do stuff this weekend that you enjoy. Get out and enjoy the sunshine - if you have it;)

 

[Ice_Fire]

Thank you so much Brucielucy!

Did you find that you had lots of nightmares after starting on the Citalopram? I can't tell if it's just a coincidence.

Everybody else's horror stories seem far worse than your own.

I hope the quote worked...yes, I too feel that I shouldn't be so upset by it, that there are bound to be people who've endured 'worse' and they are able to deal with it way better than I'm dealing with my little problem.

I hope my CPN will be just as nice as yours was! I don't know if I will be able to tell them my story at all...much less cry. I just can't cry, not in front of others anyway. I don't think I can find the words. I'm scared it'll be like the counselling sessions where I just shut down and can't say anything, except it'll be worse because I don't know who I'm talking to.

There's no sunshine up here in the moors! Grey as usual, but I am going to meet up with my boyfriend and walk the dogs. I'll try to put it out of my mind and 'relax', as close as I get to relaxed anyway.

 

[rainbow1]

Hi Ice-Fire. :wave:

I also had an assessment in the UK a number of years ago, but mine was in the psychiatric out-patient unit at the hospital. I was terrified of going in there encase they didn't let me out again.:eek:

Initially I sat completely rigid with fear and, like you I could not cry, especially around other people. I felt sometimes like my lips were glued together and I couldn't get any words out. But somehow, she managed to get enough information to make a start. Mostly from me nodding or shaking my head.

I was also asked to complete a small questionnaire that asked how i'd been feeling over the last week and month. It was just a tick box thing though! After that I went home and then went to see my GP to discuss medication and therapy.

I really hope the meeting goes well and you get the right support to move forward. I know its easier said than done but try not to worry. They are there to help you and you deserve that help and support.

:)

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I do not live in the UK so I can give your input. But...Take it step by step. Just breathe and give straight forward honest answers. I think you will do fine! :)

 

[cherryblossom]

I hope your assessment goes well.

She thinks I might have PTSD...from what I then Googled, I think that is a no-brainer.

Not necessarily. A diagnosis of PTSD is more than just ticking boxes from a list of symptoms found on the internet. Only a face to face assessment with someone qualified (a psychiatrist) can get you an accurate diagnosis. Even then, you may have to have more than one assessment before you get a diagnosis.

Try not to worry about the diagnosis, just try to be as open and honest as you can be. As Lucy has said, the assessment is about getting you the right help and support from the right people - that's what's important.

Wow - I know it's scary, and daunting to be assessed- but just try to be yourself. No-one says you need to be able to cry in front of strangers. It's okay to tell them how hard you find it to talk about things, and to tell them that you often 'shut down' in situations like this.

I've never been assessed in my own home, but to be honest, I think it might have been easier if I had of been. The worry of finding the right address, where to park the car, approaching the clinic, sitting in the waiting room, worried that someone I know will see me entering a mental health clinic, etc, etc. (By the way, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having mental health problems, but at the time I was genuinely scared that someone would see me and judge me). At least in your own home, those worries don't exist.

Try not to judge your issues by what other people have been through. It's not important. All that's important is YOU. If something has happened to you, which has upset you and is affecting your life - it matters. There will always be people better off and worse off than you, but your feelings are just as valid as anyone else's, regardless of the situation.

Just remember that the people who assess you are there to help you, they are not judging you. Also, they are professionals, who will be used to dealing with people who are scared, and anxious, and nervous.

Trust me on this - you won't be "chucked in the loony bin." There simply aren't enough NHS mental health facilities for that!! You have to be seriously, seriously mentally ill (sectioned) to be given inpatient mental health care in the UK.

Good luck. Just try to relax, and be as open and honest with them as possible.

 

[Ice_Fire]

A diagnosis of PTSD is more than just ticking boxes from a list of symptoms found on the internet.

Yes that's true and I've tried not to 'self-diagnose'...but I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out to be PTSD :rolleyes:

I've never been assessed in my own home, but to be honest, I think it might have been easier if I had of been.

I hadn't actually thought of it like this, thank you. I must admit, if I thought I had to get myself to a clinic, on time and then have the assessment, in a strange environment...I doubt I'd go at all!

All that's important is YOU.

I wish I felt important...I feel like I've made a fuss over nothing and that the whole thing will be a waste of time. I just kind of want to curl up and hope that people forget I exist at the moment. I'm glad that you and the other people I've met here so far think that I am...you're all so kind. :)

Trust me on this - you won't be "chucked in the loony bin." There simply aren't enough NHS mental health facilities for that!! You have to be seriously, seriously mentally ill (sectioned) to be given inpatient mental health care in the UK.

To be fair, I kind of know this really...I'm just being illogical. Heck, they wouldn't even take my mum into the care she needed when she totally flipped out and tried to kill me and dad...they just let her lock herself in the bathroon all night and then when she came out-did nothing because she'd pulled herself together by then. :rolleyes:

 

[cherryblossom]

Yes that's true and I've tried not to 'self-diagnose'...but I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out to be PTSD :rolleyes:

I wouldn't be surprised either. But I also hope you don't have PTSD, because it's a constant battle :(

I wish I felt important...

Of course you are important. I know it's hard to believe, but YOU matter. The sooner you realise that your life, is all about you - the better. I'm not saying become totally self-centred, or selfish, or disrespect others, or stop caring about others. But you need to learn to respect and love yourself (in fact I think we all do!). Put your needs first, and look after yourself.

 

[Ice_Fire]

I will try...I'm just used to life always being about everyone else. On my list of priorities, I've always had to come last. :(

I wouldn't be surprised either. But I also hope you don't have PTSD, because it's a constant battle :(

It feels like a constant battle anyway :( I'm getting fed up of being down, stressing out over little things that don't matter and completely freaking out over the things that do matter.

I hate the constant cycle of seeing dad on Weds, then just getting over the anxiety of that when he's up again on Sat...there's ALWAYS something that needs sorting out. I struggle to even look him in the eye. I'm nervous that mum will turn up too soon, it's been a while since she last stuck her nose in my life, so she's likely to arrive on my doorstep soon. So much for the secure entrance to my flat...they know the code because being deaf they can't use the intercom :( Makes me feel rather vulnerable.

 

[cherryblossom]

It sounds like it's time to put yourself as number one on your list of priorities.

You need to start standing up for yourself. If seeing your Mum and Dad causes you too much stress, then you need to decide whether seeing them or not is the right way forward.

The way I see it, you either work out a way to see them that doesn't cause you anxiety (which sounds impossible to me, IDK? Any solutions to this).

Or you need to work out a way not to see them. Whether that is

• Telling them directly that you don't want to see them
• Telling your Gran the full extent of the abuse, so that she can act as your support/advocate
• Going to the Police and reporting you parents
• Some other solution (??)

I suppose I really want you to be able to take control of your situation. You are an amazing young woman. You are clearly intelligent, mature, eloquent and thoughtful. You have an amazing future ahead of you, despite what has happened to you.

Stay strong, and keep fighting. Don't let SA drag you down.

Sincere regards
CB

 

[Ice_Fire]

:goingtocry:...I'm not crying in a bad way, I'm just so touched by your reply :)

A way of seeing them that doesn't cause anxiety...hmm. I think you're right on the impossible bit! I'm constantly stressed over it...scared that they'll flip, hurt me or Gran, or just be plain horrible. I'm scared that they'll hate me if I push them away...although I guess they already do. I just don't want to rock the boat.

I know I need to sort this mess out somehow, but I don't know if it's even possible. Telling them directly...OMG scary!!! What if they flipped??? Telling Gran...scary too, but I guess the only real option. Telling the Police- I dunno, Gran would find out then anyway and I don't know if I could push past the death threats which have stopped me ever telling on them. I'm convinced it'd be game over. I've only managed to tell the people I have, like you and my T, because I know there's no way mum and dad could find out that I've told. It was such a long time ago...I don't know what the Police could do anyway...

I'm tired of fighting all this :( but the alternative...well, I've thought about it, but I couldn't leave Gran. So I guess I'll just have to keep going.

 

[Ice_Fire]

Right ok...very glad that's over!

You were all right, it wasn't too bad...I bow before you're wisdom! :p

However, I am a little confused about where to go next. I've been given various options and apparently it's up to me, (so I can't be that mad, they're trusting me with myself!!!) So, any advice would be welcome.

Option 1) Continue with my current counselor at Younger Mind and have a Support Worker to help me through the upcoming exams...hopefully getting mitigating circumstances in the process. Think this is best option in the short term at least.

Option2) Change to specialist trauma counseling.

Option 3) Change to the 'wellbeing team' for CBT (which is what exactly?) which would then lead onto clinical psychology...again, no idea what that entails.

Option 4) Go to a psychiatrist for a formal d/x. She said that she is 99% sure I'd be labelled as PTSD, but she can't do the labeling! However, she said that it's my choice whether I get the/a proper diagnosis. Surely I should??? But if it's optional, does that mean I'm better off not bothering? Hyperthetically, would a diagnoses of 'whatever' help or hinder me in the long run? As in Uni and job application wise, do you need to declare it? I would for the forces, but mum put paid to that career anyway :(

Option 5) In conjunction with all of the above (except 4 maybe), go back to GP and discuss upping the Citalopram.

"confused.com" :confused: