Mine would be too entangled into who I am, and I am not a monster. So...no. I was born into trauma, developed a traumatized brain, grew up in a terrorizing environment, and couldn't count on my own body to breathe or live for me all the time. But I don't relate to any of these representations exactly, though I relate to PTSD, anxiety, depression, and anorexia. If I had a picture, it would be a void...a non-existence. Or, a non-monstrous but timid snail.
I don't even think of myself as having a mental illness so much. There is so much tangled into who I am. I'm being treated for complex trauma, but I can't separate any of it out from myself (though sometimes my pain feels like a separate monster hanging onto my body).
Healing beyond trauma is a pretty deep process of relating differently to myself and the world. It's not like there is some monkey I can throw off my back if I find the right med or treatment, though I've tried to approach it that way in the past (and failed). It's just ME and learning how to be less afraid, and really just respond to all of my triggers in new ways, slowly and gradually, so I'm changing....me, my own monster, snail, whatever....
I don't even think of myself as having a mental illness so much. There is so much tangled into who I am. I'm being treated for complex trauma, but I can't separate any of it out from myself (though sometimes my pain feels like a separate monster hanging onto my body).
Healing beyond trauma is a pretty deep process of relating differently to myself and the world. It's not like there is some monkey I can throw off my back if I find the right med or treatment, though I've tried to approach it that way in the past (and failed). It's just ME and learning how to be less afraid, and really just respond to all of my triggers in new ways, slowly and gradually, so I'm changing....me, my own monster, snail, whatever....
