Mental Paralysis?

[cupfish]

Good Morning All, Does anyone else suffer from PTSD-generated procrastination? I constantly struggle with this. Sometimes it actually leads to a trigger-like reaction -- fear, hiding, etc etc. It's not fear of doing a specific task, it's mental paralysis.

 

[Muttly]

I think maybe I have experienced what you describe? We've told our T, that we get "Stuck". The more stuck, the worse it gets because the self-hate for not doing anything flares. It can be really hard to get out of that state

Sorry you are dealing with that.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Yep, sure do. Ive been needing a hair cut, shoes as they are coming apart at the soles, 2 liters and stuff i have at work, and other things from walmart for a few months. Every weekend its the same thing, "i'll get up in a hour", "ok, just a nap", "ok, in a bit", "just after this show"....until its too late to go then its tomorrow...then tomorrow comes and goes and then im furious with myself.

Its like my body is against me most of the time. I feel horrible so i dont want to do anything but i know because of work if i push myself i will feel better but since i dont have to on the weekend, i dont. Its a horrible cycle that i cant seem to break.

Some thing with my house, its not filthy by most standards but it is to me. Its not clean, thats for sure. But i never seem to get it done. Its like my days off my body crashes on me. Makes me mad at myself.

ETA: I used to go to walmart after my therapist as its on the way home but now that i have weekends off (forced), if i do i have to run through fast. Im finding it difficult to go on the weekends as i dont have to...its not forced like work or my therapist.

 

[Friday]

Yep. Anxiety is a stone cold bitch. So, too, the needing to pace myself to prevent becoming overwhelmed / managing my stress so I don't meltdown or blow up.

Meaning sometimes that procrastination is an unwelcome side effect of dealing with symptoms, and other times is absolutely baseline required if I'm going to be functional whatsoever. Doesn't matter how much I want to get done, nor how needed/necessary it is. if I'm doing too much, I will lose it. So some things need to be put off / staggered in order to manage my stress.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

So some things need to be put off / staggered in order to manage my stress.

Great point! Sometimes things have to be put off to manage stress. That procrastination isnt always a bad thing and is a much needed thing to manage stress levels.

@cupfish have you seen the stress cup thread yet?

The Ptsd Cup Explanation

I have grown to love the phrase "my PTSD cup is filled/overflowing right now". I say it all the time to those in my daily life that know I have PTSD.

 

[Fadeaway]

Freeze response. I get it pretty bad.

 

[aut555]

Sometimes l think it's easier to say l will attempt to get this done, then other things may fall in line. If you spend too much time on the guilt and shame then it's not worthwhile. I feel like everybody has good and bad days even without ptsd. So no need to beat yourself up about this. People have all kinds of things that slow them down in accomplishing stuff, money , time, transportation, weather, traffic, the list goes on and on

 

[Gs172003]

Freeze response. I get it pretty bad.

Me too

 

[cupfish]

The Ptsd Cup Explanation

Wow this is great and so true!!! We have to balance on a wire compared to healthy thinkers. The challenge is making a living, maintaining relationships, and keeping head above water, while aiming at sanity. Today I have to mull over a series of life changes, like a grownup. My instincts are, "punt, move, figure it out later." Conventional wisdom is, "do not squander your resources or make an emotional decision." PTSD reality is acknowledge your anxiety, calculate its validity, balance anxiety management with good decision-making, make decision in anxious state that both ignores and recognizes your PTSD cup.

 

[aut555]

Wow this is great and so true!!! We have to balance on a wire compared to healthy thinkers.
The chall...

Maybe ptsd thinkers become better at life because we really analyze things at all levels. I tend to over analyze, not sure if this is ptsd or my own quirk.

 

[Jung in the JUNGle]

when to procrastinate and when not to procrastinate - I have been procrastinating over that for years.

 

[NatBird]

@cupfish so grateful for you starting this thread. I've been wanting to post about this but didn't know how to summarise it properly. Think somewhere I describe it as a computer being wiped.

I'm going through this at the moment. I struggle concentrate, stick with one topic or activity, retain information, write creatively. It seems like free associating, metaphor and simile producing part of my brain has disappeared:/ I know it's hardly life of death but it's a major part of my existence.

Basically, when I go looking for anything there's just white noise on low volume.
It might sound silly but I was starting to wonder if I have some type of brain damage.

@Fadeaway thanks for sharing that.
I'd been wondering if it was a trauma response. My typical response is freeze so this makes sense.
Curious, how does yours manifest, is it a blankness or?

@lostforgottensoul thank for the link. been wanting to look at that for a while.