Relationship Merry F’n Christmas

[Moonchild 72]

Today has been so hard!! Last night I hosted my family so I was busy and distracted. Today we were supposed to spend it with his family. I haven't heard from him since Thanksgiving after a few attempts at making contact to show my support I haven't reached out again in 2 weeks. Last week he made a conscious efforts to remove his relationship status on fb which I know might seem silly but it still hurts. I'm trying to accept that he's chosen to end the relationship. Before he shut me out he expressed excitement of spending the holidays together and what he wanted to get me. He's isolated before and always returned and after confiding so much in me, I never thought this would happen but I have no idea what he's dealing with and I may never know. We had a 20+ Year friendship before we got romantically involved a year and a half ago. It's devastating and it's impacted my own mental health. His ptsd is untreated so I now know that regardless I have to walk away to save my own sanity. He still hasn't reached out to tell me he's returning my house key which he's done in the past when he's felt low but never followed though. My best guess is that he doesn't even care or he's waiting til after holidays? It doesn't matter this just sucks. Part of me wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas today so he didn't think l forgot about him but then I reminded myself that it probably wouldn't make a bit of difference at this point. It's still so surreal when I think of how happy we were last Christmas or even just before getting sir out. I don't even know what I'm looking for anymore just needed to vent how badly I'm hurting today... ?

 

[Moonchild 72]

Today has been so hard!! Last night I hosted my family so I was busy and distracted. Today we were supposed to spend it with his family. I haven't heard from him since Thanksgiving after a few attempts at making contact to show my support I haven't reached out again in 2 weeks. Last week he made a conscious efforts to remove his relationship status on fb which I know might seem silly but it still hurts. I'm trying to accept that he's chosen to end the relationship. Before he shut me out he expressed excitement of spending the holidays together and what he wanted to get me. He's isolated before and always returned and after confiding so much in me, I never thought this would happen but I have no idea what he's dealing with and I may never know. We had a 20+ Year friendship before we got romantically involved a year and a half ago. It's devastating and it's impacted my own mental health. His ptsd is untreated so I now know that regardless I have to walk away to save my own sanity. He still hasn't reached out to tell me he's returning my house key which he's done in the past when he's felt low but never followed though. My best guess is that he doesn't even care or he's waiting til after holidays? It doesn't matter this just sucks. Part of me wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas today so he didn't think l forgot about him but then I reminded myself that it probably wouldn't make a bit of difference at this point. It's still so surreal when I think of how happy we were last Christmas or even just before getting sir out. I don't even know what I'm looking for anymore just needed to vent how badly I'm hurting today... ?

I meant to say before getting shut out ughh stupid auto correct!!

 

[Deleted member 47099]

Isolating sucks so much.

I have PTSD myself and was in a relationship with someone with untreated PTSD and he isolated hard and suddenly and messily and it totally did my head in.

I think being in a relationship with someone who has treated PTSD is a real challenge, but it's doable.

Untreated PTSD? I've been in 2 relationships with people with untreated PTSD and I've sworn that I will never, ever do it again.

If your heart is in it, it's just brutal.

I hope he stops isolating/ gets treatment or you are able to move on.

Hope you feel a lot better soon :hug:

 

[Moonchild 72]

@Sophy thank you for your response.I'm sorry that you've had to endure a relationship like this as well as suffering yourself thar takes a lot of strength! I was Ill informed and didn't make the ptsd connection until this episode. I knew he had ptsd and Was in denial of getting treatment treatment but he seemed to do such a great job of functioning and carrying on the relationship that I didn't fully realize how abruptly and severely it could consume him. Before he shut me out he did reveal that he felt like he was going through a depression which I'm sure has amplified his symptoms. I hear others state how thier SO became numb or dissociated. I don't what he's feeling of not feeling at the moment, but as a supporter I cannot turn my emotions off on cue and it's difficult to accept that the man he was may be "gone" now. Funny thing is my ex-husband had BPD and self medicated with alcohol there was a lot of emotional abuse and I vowed never to get get involved with anyone else with a mental disorder I wish I had been more informed. Chalking this one up to another lesson in life.