Merry F@#@g Christmas

[IamFree]

There are periods of time were I can forget about my ptsd and I can feel just like everyone else. Then something comes along and suddenly I feel like I have PTSD in neon flashing on my head. Everyone in work is on about this years Christmas party in this great big new venue. It sounds like tiddlywinks to people (or it seems so ) I just feel dread. I find crowds hard to deal with. I prefer to socialise in a very structured way because of my safety issues.I do not drink anymore and no doubt there will be a lot of that. Its my idea of hell basicly. Maybe one day this is something that will be available to me. I am not at a stage in my recovery were I feel equipped enough to navigate such an occasion . I don't mind my colleagues its not about snubbing them. its just trying to get out of it without it looking like so. PTSD hey always having to come with wicked plans to get out of these overwhelming situations.any tips

 

[Jen93]

Tell them you wish you could come; but you have to see your daughter's/son/nieces school play. They can't raise an eyebrow at family things.

 

[IamFree]

Yes indeed a white lie . the perfectionist in me is so against telling tales but maybe the perfectionist needs to go and take a run and jump, because its not hurting anyone at the end of the day.

 

[Jen93]

Exactly. And people are pretty understanding about "family priorities."

 

[sun seeker]

Christmas already? We haven't even had Halloween yet. :confused:

That might be a good conversation starter. The commercial character of the modern holiday season. Might get everyone agreeing and take the topic away from the party. Just a thought.

 

[aut555]

Just don't show up at the last min. Car trouble, gas line emergency, lost house keys, one of those l can't believe this happened. Neighbor needed help, etc. etc.,

 

[Friday]

If it's a personal thing where you feel you "should" be there? I'd make other plans. A weekend away. Something along those lines. So that when people ask you about going? "Oh I'm sorry! I'm not going to be able to go this year! I have plans to be XYZ that week!" All true. You are sorry, but you're not in a place to be able to go and enjoy yourself, so you've made plans to be somewhere you can enjoy yourself. Conversely, afterward? It gives you something all social to be able to do 1:1 :sneaky: AKA ask people who like to talk to tell you all about it*. That way you're "included" in their minds, without having to physically be there.

If it's a political thing where you "have" to be there. I tend to create an "out" for myself. Like booking a hotel room upstairs / across the street / etc. So I can make one or more brief appearances, and retreat in safety to my sanctuary.

* This is something I do with things I can't personally stand, all the time. I consider it like something of a science experiment or anthropological expedition or Spy v Spy. ;) Tell. Me. Everything. // What are you looking forward to the most? // What do you think.... >>> That way it's all honest. I'm not pretending I actually like the ghastly thing. I'm showing interest in a person who happens to like ghastly things. <grin> And when it's something not ghastly, just not possible right now? It's a bit of vicarious joy. I can share in theirs, even if it would bring me none of my own, I can be happy for them.

 

[sun seeker]

@Friday, I have to say, what I enjoy most about your posts is the creativity. Whatever the topic, when people are only seeing black and white for choices, you see an entire rainbow. I've yet to translate my appreciation for that on the page into accessing that number of choices for myself when I'm seeing life in black and white. Maybe if I keep reading your posts long enough?

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

I can do small get togethers but larger parties send me into a panic. It's been like this my whole life. I agree, make plans in advance to be somewhere else or back out at the last minute.

 

[Gs172003]

If it's a personal thing where you feel you "should" be there? I'd make other plans. A weekend away. Som...

That's my plan. Thinking back I've never liked the holiday. I've always gotten a stomach ache as a kid that day and I don't know why. I honestly don't think it's worth the stress. If Thanksgiving is OK with you, spend your time with them THEN. Or if there are certain people you want to spend time with, get together with them a different time. Just skip the times and people that cause you stress. Not worth it