Monster Mommy Returns

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@littlelostchild - Every night either my husband or I read three books to him and then sing a song. He has a projection clock with a moon background on his ceiling and a nightlight. He is allowed to bring up to 3 stuffed animals to bed. I was thinking about music tonight, but I am not sure I want to start that. Tonight I told him that I would put a scarf on the door if I was in the room. If it wasn't there, it meant I was feeding the cats or getting water downstairs. He asked me not to yell so loudly at him if he came in and I told him that the best way to make sure that I didn't yell was to look for the scarf but not come in. I have heard his door, but he has stayed out of the room. I hope this works for more than one night. Thanks so much!

 

[littlelostchild]

Wow, you do so much to get him ready for bed and while he is in his room!

I hope all goes well tonight.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

It's been our routine for at least since he was 2. So far tonight has gone much better than rest time and the last few nights.

 

[RussH]

I feel like a failure because I can't help his fears and I can't solve the problem

JEK having raised three kids I can tell you that most five year old fears and problems are mitigated just by knowing mommy or daddy

From everything I have read you are doing a good job with your children. Your son sounds like he is a very typical 5 year old that needs to know his mommy is near, and you are doing a good job and assuring him you are near.

I like the idea of putting something by your door so he can see it, and know you are there. Maybe a mommy doll?

 

[littlelostchild]

How did bedtime go last night?

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

He came out about 5 times or so, but never once entered my room or searched the house for me. One success down. I gave him a sticker for his chart to help encourage that checking for me, but not bothering me. He's already resisting rest time for this afternoon, but we have a little while before we worry about that.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I just have to add that he was noticeably worried at nap time (because we were bringing things in from a yard sale) and I told him I would come to tell him when I got back in the house or he could look for the scarf, but he was not to come find us. Not a peep from him and when I went to check on him, he was sound asleep. I could get used to this, but I will try not to.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@littlelostchild - I just wanted to say thanks again for the idea of putting something on the door. My son hardly ever comes out of his room to check any more. He even said today that he wouldn't mind if my husband and I are downstairs watching TV and not upstairs. This is major progress. He hasn't asked for a sticker for his chart (third one) in over a week. We're still going to give him his reward though as he has definitely earned it!

 

[littlelostchild]

I'm so glad to hear it :D We had great challenges with our son when he was little (now he is 27 and married) so I know how stressful it can be when bedtime doesn't go easily.

I hope back o school is going well for you too.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@littlelostchild - The first week back went well, but I am completely overwhelmed this weekend. I think it was just a long time to hold it all together! And there's so much work to do! Are you back in school now, too? How is it going?

 

[littlelostchild]

I am transitioning back, yes. It is going well. I have to become more aware of my body at work as I come home with a really sore jaw after 4 hours. I am wearing lipstick so I won't chew on my lip and I think my shoulders are up around my ears. The staff have been very welcoming and so far the students are lovely.
For me the real stress will come when I perceive that someone is mad at me. That particular issue is very raw right now. I'm sure it won't be long, but I'm working on the strategies.

I know how much work it is for you. Do you have strategies you can use at school to release some of the pressure as it builds, instead of holding it all day/week?

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Do you have strategies you can use at school to release some of the pressure as it builds, instead of holding it all day/week?

I don't think about it in the moment. I think I need to figure that out though because holding it all in won't work for long.