Mood out of 10. Contributing factors.



- the constant little shocks of realising how grave the coronavirus situation is.
+ dealing reasonably well with difficult headspace
- difficult headspace
+ enjoying TV series Hip Hop, the songs that shook America
- anxiety about whatever's wrong in my belly, urgent scans been cancelled and cannot go to get blood tests done.
+ compared to plenty of people right now I'm still really lucky though.
+ Dr will ring today about belly
- Nightmares and strange frightening experiences in my brain.
+ had a go at learning to play an instrument

The Albatross

Mood: 5 of 5... neutral.

Contributing factors:

  • Unexplainable muscle or white tissue pain from physical therapy.
  • Difficult sleep due to no comfortable position due to the above.
  • A couple of weird assed experiences... white flashes (like a light bulb going off in the hallway)… no explainable source and no one awake or there. Pets reacted too so it wasn't just me.
  • Disturbed by open familial items. Mostly in law stuff. Trying to be respectful but mister has shut down and is venting and causing home disruption.
  • Reached out to an ex sis in law. Open item not without a good amount of nervous unknown crap.
  • Severe weather again back in FL... no one yet to check the camp or mom's condo rebuild. The thing about being away is that people prioritize differently. We are still blocked from going down south.
  • Major allergic inflammation and pain.
  • Coming up on the big six oh my f'ing God you're old this month.
  • Need dental for me and mom.
  • I would say I hate my life right now but really it's just a 1st world disturbance. Under challenged and life disruption which I deeply resent.


Bored, 5 out of ten.

Two days in a row now, I have had an appointment with my pastor and since it is supposed to take place on my front porch, and it's rained, it's been cancelled. Now I have no plans, so I am bored.