Moral injury (partially my rant thread)

[joeylittle]

I don’t know who ‘everyone’ is. I know that the vast majority of this forum doesn’t believe PTSD can only result from military/combat trauma.

Who is everyone?

 

[Neverthesame]

Is this the basic idea of what happened?

You made a decision to do something which carried some risk for the benefit of someone?

The plan then backfired, causing the person you were trying to assist to end up exactly where you tried to prevent them going?

Had you done nothing at all, this would not have ended so badly, not ideal, but better than this outcome?

Fortunately, everything worked out in the end, but you feel crushing guilt for (unintentionally) putting someone into a potentially dangerous situation?

Is this basically correct?

 

[Neverthesame]

I had hoped you would have responded with clarification, but that's ok.
I'll go from what I asked as I understand it, hopefully I'm not too far off.

I don't know if this specifically would be a bona-fide moral injury or not, but mainly because I'm not overly familiar with the specifics of the term in the formal clinical sense.

I can tell you how I would feel in such a situation.
Terrible and guilty. Doesn't mean I would be, but I would feel that way.

"It all worked out in the end" is absolutely no comfort when you understand how bad, bad can be.
You still feel like the hangman.

It sounded like you were there up on the metaphorical gallows, with the rope, but for the grace of God, there wasn't a neck to put it around.
A neck that shouldn't have been there, belonging to the last person you wanted to hang. Someone you were really trying to help.
So close, too close.

I am not saying that you are to blame or should feel to blame. No.
I am saying I don't think you're exaggerating, or being a wimp. From what I gleaned from your other thread posts. I think I'd be hard pressed to not feel horrible about myself after as well.

I don't know if this will be any use to you or not, but there it is.

For what it's worth I hope you come back to talk about it, and keep working through it.

I don't know if it's a moral injury or not, but only because I'm not qualified to answer the question. If someone who does, said it is? I'd believe it.

I hope you can find some peace, somewhere, somehow.

Take care.

 

[Mee]

OP.

I am glad you raised this.
I did not know the term ’moral injury’ until I just googled it. This is exactly the situation I am in. I do not feel invalidated about it by my therapist she just had nig given me a term. I do feel somewhat by some others who do nif see why this rather than other circumstances I have been a large part of my failure to cope.

However; I am seeking to find validation only from myself right now.

 

[Tinyflame]

Actually, I did not know the term either, but the VA says, ".. moral injury is a construct that describes extreme and unprecedented life experience including the harmful aftermath of exposure to such events. Events are considered morally injurious if they 'transgress deeply held moral beliefs and expectations' ", and apart from the VA "the damage done to one's conscience or moral compass when that person perpetrates, witnesses, or fails to prevent acts that transgress their own moral and ethical values or codes of conduct". And that "the concept of moral injury emphasizes the psychological, cultural, and spiritual aspects of trauma".

Certainly that well applies as a deep-rooted feature of many traumas, I can relate very much. In one instance even though it resulted in death, my lack of action disturbed me most. Or in a different type of example, things we do as children in 'trade' for what should be provided without such things. Etc. Obviously it is very personal how one is affected, as we all have our own moral code, culture, beliefs, self-expectations, etc.

I hope you are able to be more kind to yourself @CatInTree , and be able to sit with the discomfort while you work forwards. :hug:

 

[Mee]

Yes Junebug, I can see how it would apply to more people.

CatInTree, I hope that at least two of us strongly identify with this is somewhat reassuring for you.