Moving And Scared

[sonicwhite]

ok, in about a month give or take I'll be moving to TN. I have to because I'm being kicked out. As for much of it I'm ok. I'll have to leave my cat behind but that will be ok. As most of you know I have an addiction to lyrica or gabapentin. I'm afraid that I'm just going to drag my addiction issues which I want to be free from to TN. At least I have a place to go , a roof over my head. I'm just concerned with me and my addictions how will they play into my quality of life.


So I'm trying my best just to say wulp, I'll be in church again. Back with my body of Christ. I have an impactful testimony to share. I just want to get on my two feet. I have no other option. I have to move soon. So can anyone here relate to switching doctors and maybe them changing up meds. I don't abuse klonopin which is the only thing that helps with anxiety. I just don't want to go there and they change up everything. That is my main concern. Get that outta the way and I should be fine.

 

[bring em all in]

It seems certain that whatever baggage you have now will go with you to TN. If recovery was that simple we'd all move:) Change of any kind is very stressful, and moving is one of the biggest changes. Have you set up an appointment with a therapist and doctor where you are moving? Could you have your current therapist/doctor forward your records? Having these things in place might make the move less stressful.

Leaving your cat behind could also be very stressful if you are attached to him/her. Often we with PTSD can forge much closer connections with animals than people. Do you absolutely have to leave him/her behind? In humanitarian terms, if so, are you leaving it with a good home? I used to work with an animal shelter and hated seeing pets dumped off because somebody was moving.

 

[Deleted member 38137]

ok, in about a month give or take I'll be moving to TN. I have to because I'm being kicked out. As f...

As the former partner of a few addicts, a codependent and an active member of codependency/addiction therapy, I applaud you for realizing that you have a problem. But we both know that you aren't scared of your doctor changing your meds because of side effects. You're scared of losing whatever high you are getting from them.

I think the church thing is great (most addicts need something to take the place of the addiction/obsession that is in their brains) but I also think that attending some group therapy would do you good as well.

You're admitting you have a problem yet you are still taking the drugs that you are addicted to. Sober means SOBER whether the doctor prescribes it or not. You appear to be a Veteran. I know in my home state, the VA is offering acupuncture, chiropractic and massage to the Warriors. Is it possible that you explore these avenues and try a more holistic approach to your pain management? You'll thank yourself for it later. :)

 

[ladee]

This is just my 2 cents.
Have been reading you since you joined..but I never reply.
Until you kick the addiction,nothing is going to change. Doesn't matter where you live, what Dr's you have...because wherever you go, there you are.
I am a former addict with 32 yrs clean. None of my real issues could be addressed until I got clean..and STAYED that way.
There is no easier softer way!
I'll repeat.....wherever you go..there you are.

 

[sonicwhite]

No the klonopin is the issue. I'm all for getting clean however that comes about. But changing meds like klonopin will only scrwew up the progress I have made. Gabapentin and pregabalin is what I'm addicted to.

Trust me folks. I want freedom so bad I can taste it. I just know that most doctors nowadays dont prescribe benzos. So I'm afraid I'm going to be yanked off thus throwing me into withdrawals while at me dads. I'm just scared folks that's all.


BTW I'm not a VA. I have to leave twoface behind which is breaking me heart. She will always have the living home she has. I have just bonded with her. Its not until recently I'm starting tto under stand PTSD. The isolation. The nightmares. The dissociation by dreams of places that just don't feel right when I wake up.


And most importantly the addiction

 

[ladee]

You are projecting which is normal. Dr's still give Klonopin...I take it.

You are setting yourself up. Are you going to share with a new Dr you are an addict? Are you going to ask for help with this?

What plans have you made for being in your new home? Have you set any goals?
What have you done or doing to prepare your self for your move?
Possibly if you coventrated on other things you may not have so much time to be worried and anxious about things that you have no way of knowing.

Have you asked your Dr for referals for the town you will be living in?

There are things you could be doing to make this transition a little less stressful.

 

[sonicwhite]

Yes the doc has no referrals. I have to call my insurance. Yes I plan to be honest and open. That's why I'm scared. They look at klonopin as something ppl abuse rather than lyrica or gabapentin. But it has just made me worse. When I get to TN I plan on trying to live out on my own so I can comeback and get twoface.


I just hope that I'll be able to look back and say why did I even worry about that.

 

[ladee]

Well I wish you well on the next part of your journey.
Take care.

 

[Deleted member 38137]

No the klonopin is the issue. I'm all for getting clean however that comes about. But changing meds...

Klonopin is a long acting benzo that should only be prescribed for a short period of time. Lyrica is used to treat a variety of pain related illnesses and for seizures. BOTH have a euphoric effect on the brain. I know about the Lyrica because my disabled Veteran bf takes it for back pain and neuropathy. It makes him higher than a kite so he only takes it when he can't sleep and/or is in massive pain.

You're worrying about it because you are addicted to substances. Taking away your drugs feels like taking away your best friend.

Should you desire to get clean, you need to give up all medications that you feel are addicting and instead opt for natural healing. I TOTALLY agree with ladee. Where you go is where you are. And YOU are the one that has the illness of addiction.

If I was you, I'd be trying to find a doctor that specializes in addiction medicine and get help in NOT getting the drugs. You can do it. Millions have. Be one of them!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Well, I will say this. I did move back to KS to get off of coke & crack, for 3 reasons, my ex whom was using with me was there and I needed away from him, i knew everyone in Ft Myers that did it and I know me and the fact that I am damn too chicken to go buy it on the street (and was correct).

But, I made a plan, got an apartment, had a job lined up 2 weeks after I had moved (enough time to get off of it alone in my apartment). I did well so getting away from contacts is good if getting it from them and use with them but you first need a plan, money would be good, and you need to BE HONEST! With everyone!

Every one of my Drs know that I am an addict. Even my pain Dr. I dislike oppiates and he figured that out the first day he saw me and told me I was over medicated and he was taking me off oxycotine and oxycodone and changing it all and I just happily said "ok".

I also lived in this apartment with two herion addicts. A couple using together, my ex roommates. Each time the female tried to get clean her withdrawls caused so much anxiety that she would very quickly rock and shake real bad. I felt bad and would give her xanax. You know what that caused? A relasp. Every single damn time. Now, this happened about 8 times cause I am that much of a push over (and they stole my meds 3 times) and each time i would give her benos and she was right back at it.

She's now dead from a herion overdose.

I understand withdrawls, though i honestly don't know what gabapentin withdrawls are like as I take 900mg three times a day and its like I am taking asprin, i don't know i am taking it other then my neupathy getting better. It doesn't make me tired and i don't have withdrawls from it.

Anyway, my point, a plan, honesty with all and any Drs and family members and friends, and loose any and all contacts.

wherever you go, there you are.

Very well said! Couldn't agree more!

Remember problems (and addictions) follow you.

 

[sonicwhite]

I will just say that gabapentin withdrawal is no walk in the park. It feels just like benzo withdrawal. And it was recommended that I stay on klonopin by my current doc because of GAD. Now I'm being uprooted and planted somewhere else where I feel I'm going to be just treated like I was in the old days. But none of that really matters. What matters is my dad strong enough to deal with me as I go through this transition.? Idk the whole movie thing has got me scared.

 

[bring em all in]

I've been on Klonopin for years- I used to take it a half hour before bed and felt groggy and fell asleep easily. Now it does nothing for me- I've developed a tolerance and my doctor doesn't want to increase the dosage (smart man!). So I'm stuck with getting no benefit from taking it while feeling miserable and virtually unable to sleep if I don't take it! He's weaning me s-l-o-w-l-y off of it- cutting slivers of the pills off over a period of time. It's the worst thing I've ever tried coming off of!!!!!